Jerry Quote #1307
Quote from Jerry in The Sponge
[stand-up:]
Jerry: People can be so vain, don't you know? I have a friend, wears eye glasses, no prescription in the glasses because he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. Now, why? Why do we think that glasses makes us look more intelligent? Is it from the endless hours of reading and studying and researching that this person supposedly blew out their eyeballs, and that's why they need the glasses? It's just a corrective device. If you see someone with a hearing aid, you don't think, "Oh, they must have been listening real good. Yeah, to a lot of important stuff." No, they are deaf. They can't hear.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Sponge’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Hey, I didn't even use one.
Jerry: I thought you said it was imminent.
Elaine: Yeah, it was, but then I just couldn't decide if he was really spongeworthy.
Jerry: Spongeworthy?
Elaine: Yeah, Jerry, I have to conserve these Sponges.
Jerry: But you like this guy, isn't that what the Sponges are for?
Elaine: Yes, yes, before they went off the market. But I mean, now I've got to re-evaluate my whole screening process. I can't afford to waste any of them.
George: You know, you're nuts with these sponges. George is getting frustrated!
Quote from Elaine
Billy: How did you sleep?
Elaine: Great. You?
Billy: Fine, fine. Everything okay?
Elaine: Yep.
Billy: No regrets?
Elaine: Nope. [Billy moves in for a kiss] What are you doing?
Billy: What do you mean?
Elaine: Oh, I don't think so.
Billy: Why not? I thought you said everything was fine.
Elaine: Oh, I wish I could help you, but I can't afford two of them.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: So, you think you're sponge-worthy?
Billy: Yes, I think I'm sponge-worthy. I think I'm very sponge-worthy.
Elaine: Run down your case for me again.
Billy: Well, we've gone out several times. We obviously have a good rapport. I own a very profitable electronics distributing firm. I eat well. I exercise. Blood tests, immaculate. And if I can speak frankly, I'm actually quite good at it.
Elaine: You going to do something about your sideburns?
Billy: Yeah, I told you. I'm going to trim my sideburns.
Elaine: And the bathroom in your apartment?
Billy: Cleaned it this morning.
Elaine: The sink, the tub, everything got cleaned?
Billy: Everything, yeah. It's spotless.
Elaine: All right, let's go.