Jerry: It was unbelievable. You're right. The jokes kept bouncing off her like Superman.
Elaine: See, what did I tell you?
Jerry: And even when she did like something, she doesn't laugh. She says, "That's funny." "That's funny."
Elaine: Ooh, I better call that woman at Doubleday and see when I can pick up Mr. Pitt's racket.
Jerry: I mean how can I be with someone that doesn't laugh. It's like... Well, it's like something!

Kramer: [enters] What's so funny? What?
Elaine: Cosmo?
Kramer: All right. All right. Okay, so you the name now. The cat is.... out of the bag.
Jerry: Well, I got to hand it to you. You did a hell of a job keeping it a secret all these years.
Elaine: It's not such a bad name.
Kramer: Well, you know, all my life I've been running away from that name. That's why I wouldn't tell anybody. But I've been thinking about it. All this time I'm trying not to be me. I'm afraid to face who I was. But I'm Cosmo, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer. And that's who I'm going to be. From now on that's who I'm going to be. I'm Cosmo!

George: Well, I heard a noise.
Jerry: What noise?
George: You know, blargh!
Jerry: What blargh?
George: From the bathroom.
Jerry: Oh, you think she was, uh, refunding?
George: Every time we go out to eat, the minute we we're done eating, she's running to the bathroom.
Elaine: So you're concerned.
George: Elaine, of course I'm concerned. I'm payin' for those meals. It's like throwing money down the toilet.
Jerry: In a manner of speaking.
George: Let me digest it. Let me get my money's worth. You know, what would be good is if there was someone else in the bathroom that could tell me.