Jerry Quote #1058
[stand-up:]
Jerry: If you have a close friend and they get involve with someone in a relationship, it affects your friendship doesn't it? Because it's like you were a comedy team, and now there's this third person, you know, it kind of throws off the timing. "Who's on first?" "I don't know. Uh, dear, who do you think is on first?" In fact, whenever a friend of mine starts with a new girlfriend, we should just say, “I look like the person you use to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. In other words, if were having an argument and she's there, I may say I totally disagree with you, but what that really means is, I'd like to help you out, but I'd rather continue to see her naked.”
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Soup’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Jerry: So he just gets soup. He wants to save the meal. So now I got to do it all over again.
Elaine: What kind of soup did he get?
Jerry: I don't know? Consomme or something.
Elaine: Consomme, hmm.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: Well, that's not really a meal, Jerry. I mean, if he had gotten chicken gumbo or matzah ball, even mushroom barley, then I would agree with you. Those are very hardy soups.
Quote from Jerry
Kenny Bania: Ah, you know what I think. I'm just going to have soup. Yeah, I'll save the meal for another time.
Jerry: Another time? What other time?
Kenny Bania: I had a hot dog earlier. I'm not that hungry.
Jerry: No, no, Bania, no. This is the dinner. The soup counts.
Kenny Bania: Soup's not a meal. You're supposed to buy me a meal.
Jerry: I'm not stopping you from eating. Go ahead and eat. Get anything you want.
Kenny Bania: I don't want anything but soup.
Jerry: Then that's the meal.
Kenny Bania: But I had the hot dog.
Jerry: I didn't tell you to have a hot dog. Who told you to have a hot dog?
Kenny Bania: Hey, I give you a brand-new Armani suit, and you won't even buy me a meal?
Jerry: All right, fine. Get the soup!
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey.
Jerry: Well, you want something to eat, don't you?
Kramer: Ah, no, no, no. You got me all wrong buddy. I am loving this no refrigerator. You know what I discovered? I really like depriving myself of things. It's fun. Very monastic.
George: Well, what do you eat?
Kramer: It's all fresh. Fresh fish, fresh foul, fresh fruit. I buy it, I... eat it.
Jerry: Well, I'm glad it's working out.
Kramer: Oh, yeah. It's working out.