Jerry Quote #1018
Quote from Jerry in The Chinese Woman
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I think the thing I admire most about the Chinese is that they're hanging in there with the chopsticks. Because if you think about it, you know, they've seen the fork by now. I'm sure they've seen the spoon. They're going, "Yeah, they're okay. We're gonna stay with the sticks." I mean, I don't know how they missed it. Thousands of years ago, Chinese farmer gets up has his breakfast with the chopsticks goes out and works all day in the field with a shovel. Hello? Shovel? Not going out there plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Chinese Woman’ Quotes
Quote from Estelle Costanza
Estelle Costanza: You're not Chinese?
Donna: No.
Estelle Costanza: I thought you were Chinese.
Donna: I'm from Long Island.
Estelle Costanza: Long Island? I thought I was getting advice from a Chinese woman.
Donna: I'm sorry.
Estelle Costanza: Well, then that changes everything.
George: What?
Estelle Costanza: She's not Chinese. I was duped!
George: So what? She still gave you advice. What's the difference if she's not Chinese?
Estelle Costanza: I'm not taking advice from some girl from Long Island.
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Well, looks like you've adjusted to the boxers.
Kramer: Well, I wouldn't go as far as that.
Jerry: You went back to the Jockeys?
Kramer: Wrong again.
Jerry: Oh, no.
Elaine: What? What?
Jerry: Don't you see what's going on here? No boxers, no Jockeys.
Elaine: Eww.
Jerry: The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine. Kramer, say it isn't so.
Kramer: Oh, it be so. I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it!
Jerry: Don't you need a little help?
Kramer: Surprisingly, no. I'm free. I'm unfettered. I feel like a naked, innocent boy roaming the countryside.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Here, take my Jockey shorts.
Elaine: Whoa, whoa!
Jerry: Hey, what is that?
Kramer: Look, you gotta help me. I have to get off Jockey shorts.
Jerry: What, you have low sperm count?
Kramer: Very low! Come on, take them.
Jerry: I don't want them.
Kramer: Jerry, look, you gotta help. If I have one pair in my house, I'll wear them.
Jerry: I don't want them.
Kramer: All it takes is one pair.
Jerry: I'm not gonna be able to sleep if those are in the house.
Kramer: Boxers! How do you wear these things? Look at that. They're bagging up. They're rising here. And there's nothing holding me in place. I'm flipping, I'm flopping. What am I gonna do? Jerry, I'm going crazy in these things. [exits]
Jerry: Well, I'm gonna have to move now.