George: [hoarse from shouting] I was trying to lead the way. We needed a leader! Someone to lead the way to safety.
Robin: But you yelled, "Get out of my way"!
George: Because... Because... As the leader, if I die, then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown? Instead of castigating me, you should all be thanking me. What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where heroes are cast as villains? Brave men as cowards?
Robin: But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic. I saw you knock them down. And when you ran out, you left everyone behind.
George: Seemingly. Seemingly. To the untrained eye, I can fully understand how you got that impression. What looked like pushing, what looked like knocking down...was a safety precaution! In a fire, you stay close to the ground, am I right? Oh! And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind! Oh-ho, quite the contrary! I risked my life making sure that exit was clear. Any other questions?
Fireman: How do you live with yourself?
George: It's not easy.

Kramer: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinkie toe.
George: That's unbelievable!
Kramer: Yeah. Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran?
Kramer: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy. Step on it."
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah. Then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinkie toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy." Knocked him out cold!
George: How could you do that?!
Kramer: Then everybody is screaming, because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion. The bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm driving the bus.
George: You're Batman.
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts choking me! So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, y ouknow? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door, you know, with my foot, you know, at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!
George: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?
Kramer: Well, I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
George: You did all this for a pinkie toe?
Kramer: Well, it's a valuable appendage.

Jerry: So you feel "women and children first", in this day and age, is somewhat of an antiquated notion.
George: To some degree.
Jerry: So basically, it's every man, woman, child, and invalid for themselves.
George: In a manner of speaking.
Jerry: Well, it's honest.
George: Yeah. She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals.
Jerry: Well, perhaps when she's released from the burn center, she'll see things differently.
George: Perhaps.
Jerry: So, what was the fire? Just a couple of greasy hamburgers?
George: Yeah. Eric the clown put it out with his big shoe.