Jerry Quote #966
Quote from Jerry in The Raincoats
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm not crazy about used clothes. I mean, they call it vintage, you know to take your mind off of what it really is, nasty-wear. Oh, it's clean, you know. People wear underwear. Yeah, well they don't wear iron underwear and that's what it's gonna take to get me in those clothes. I mean, I'll move into an apartment after a strange person moves out. Why would I wanna move into somebody's pants? There is no vintage underwear, of course. But it's not because the guy couldn't sell his underwear, it's because men wear their underwear until it absolutely disintegrates. Men hang on to underwear until... until each individual underwear molecule is so strained it can barely retain the properties of a solid. It actually becomes underwear vapor. W- We don't even throw it out, we just open a window and it goes out like dandelion spoors. That's how men throw out underwear we just go... [blows] and it's gone. That's it. It's just...
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Raincoats’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Personal distance is a very important thing. There's a new personal distance, ATM distance. When someone's using an ATM, you wanna be about six feet back, don't you? Because people get a little edgy around that ATM, don't they? They got their money out, their eyes are darting all around. The other place I wanna be about six feet away is a urinal. You want some distance there, too. ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuables out of their pants, you want to give them as much room as possible.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I really feel as human beings, we need more training in our basic social skills. Conversational Distance. Don't you hate these people that talk to you they talk into your mouth like you're a clown at a drive-through? And hand shakes is the worst. There's absolutely no guidelines for hand shakes. You know these people? Too strong, too weak. Sometimes they give you the three-quarter handshake just the fingers. Early release, late release. Sometimes people will dispute your release. You let go, they're hanging on. I have actually said to people, "Hey the handshake is over!" Too many pumps, coming in too high, too sweaty, from too far away. Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release, and pull you in for the too close conversation. To him I say, "That's three strikes you're out."
Quote from George
George: What about her place?
Jerry: She lives with her parents.
George: Really? Maybe this will become like a cool thing. Living with your parents.
Jerry: Yeah, then maybe baldness will catch on. This will all be turning your way.
George: Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship?
Jerry: The baldies.