Jerry Quote #934
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I think of all the places that you go all the time, the dry-cleaning relationship is one of the most bizarre. Because you keep giving each other the same thing, back and forth, over and over again. He gives it to you, you give it to him, he gives it back to you. It's like it's half his shirt, in a way. He has it as much as you do. You ought to go shopping with him. "What do you think of this shirt?" "That would look good with a light starch." The only warning label people really respect is "dry-clean only." You know what I mean? Speed limits, lung cancer, cigarette warnings - your very life is at stake! People go, "Ah, the hell with it!" But dry-clean only? "Oh, don't put that in the wash! It's dry-clean only! Are you crazy?!"
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Wife’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Well, what was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe? Go all the way down to the other end? Come all the way back?
Elaine: Did you ever hear of... holding it in?
George: Oh, no... No, that's very bad for the kidneys.
Elaine: How do you know?
George: Medical journals!
Jerry: Do the medical journals mention anything about standing in a pool of someone else's urine?
Quote from George
George: Could it be because you don't want him to know that you have a friend who pees in the shower, is that it?!
Elaine: No, that's not it!
George: Oh, I think it is! I think that's exactly what it is!
Elaine: Why couldn't you just wait?
George: I was there! I saw a drain!
Elaine: Since when is a drain a toilet?!
George: It's all pipes! What's the difference?!
Elaine: Different pipes go to different places! You're gonna mix 'em up!
George: I'll call a plumber right now!
Quote from George
Elaine: Mmm, what happened?
George: Nothing, I said it was a little problem.
Elaine: Yeah? What was it?
George: Well, I was in the locker room showering, and I... I had to go, so...
Jerry: Here we go.
George: Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me. He even gave me a dirty look.
Elaine: You went... in the shower?
George: Yeah, so what? I'm not the only one!