Jerry Quote #902
Quote from Jerry in The Marine Biologist
Jerry: Elaine, see this T-shirts, six years I've had this T-shirts, it's my best one, I call him, Golden Boy
Elaine: I'm on the phone here.
Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry. Here, touch Golden Boy
Elaine: No, thanks. [on the phone] Yeah, yeah, I'll hold.
Jerry: But see look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly dying. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes the T-shirt such a tragic figure.
Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some Woolite?
Jerry: No! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays every game. Wash! Spin! Rinse Spin! You take that away from him, you break his spirit.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Marine Biologist’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: Oh, don't you know what this means? It's like working with Tolstoy.
Jerry: Hey, you know what, I read the most unbelievable thing about Tolstoy the other day. Did you know the original title for "War and Peace" was "War - What Is It Good For?"!
Elaine: Ha ha.
Jerry: No, no. I'm not kidding, Elaine. It's true. His mistress didn't like the title and insisted that he change it to "War and Peace"!
Elaine: But it's a line from that song.
Jerry: That's where they got it from.
Quote from Elaine
Mr. Lippman: You know, Tolstoy use to write in the village square. The faces inspired him.
Testikov: He did not need any inspiration. God spoke through his pen.
Elaine: Oh, that is so true! Although, one wonders if "War and Peace" would has been as highly acclaimed as it was had it been published under its original title, "War - What Is It Good For?"
Mr. Lippman: What?
Elaine: Yes. Mr. Lippman, it was his mistress who insisted he called it "War and Peace."
Mr. Lippman: Elaine.
Elaine: "War - What Is It Good For." [sings] Absolutely nothin'! Ho! Say it again. [to Testikov] It's a song. They got that from Tolstoy.
Quote from George
George: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on. And as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you, Jerry, at that moment, I was a marine biologist!
Elaine: George, I was just reading this thing in the papers, it's amazing!
George: I know. I was just telling them the story.
Kramer: Come on, George, finish the story.
George: The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli! I got about fifty-feet out and then suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!
Jerry: Mammal.
George: Whatever.
Kramer: Well, what did you do next?
George: Well, then, from out of nowhere a huge tidal wave lifted, tossed like a cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around and pulled out the obstruction!
[George pulls out a golf ball. Jerry and George stare at Kramer.]
Kramer: What is that a Titleist? A hole in one, huh?