Jerry Quote #893

Quote from Jerry in The Dinner Party

Jerry: See, the thing about eating a black-and-white cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow, racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved.
Elaine: Your views on race relations are fascinating. You really should do an op-ed piece for the Times.
Jerry: Um, um. Look to the cookie, Elaine. Look to the cookie.
[Jerry raises his cookie to an African-American man, who mirrors the gesture]

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 ‘The Dinner Party’ Quotes

Quote from George

Elaine: Oh, listen. We should stop off on the way and get a bottle of wine or something.
George: What for?
Elaine: These people invited us for dinner. We have to bring something.
George: Why?
Elaine: Because it's rude, otherwise.
George: You mean just going there because I'm invited... that's rude?
Elaine: Yes.
George: So, you're telling me, instead of being happy to see me they're going to be upset because I didn't bring anything. You see what I'm saying?
Jerry: The fabric of society is very complex, George.

Quote from George

George: I don't even drink wine. I drink Pepsi.
Elaine: You can't bring Pepsi.
George: Why not?
Elaine: Because we're adults?
George: What, you're telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? [snorts] Huh, no way wine is better than Pepsi.
Jerry: I'm telling you, George, I don't think we want to walk in there and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi on the table.
George: I just don't like the idea that any time there is a dinner invitation there's this annoying little chore that goes along with it.
Jerry: You know, you're getting to be an annoying little chore yourself.

 Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Quote from The Puffy Shirt

Bryant Gumbel: Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be, kind of, a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.
Jerry: Yeah.
Bryant Gumbel: Will you wear the puffy shirt at the..?
Jerry: Look, it's not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What's the difference? I agreed to wear it. It's a puffy shirt. I feel ridiculous in it. I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie: [o.s., loudly] You bastard!
Bryant Gumbel: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.

Quote from The Yada Yada

Tim Whatley: Father Curtis told me about your little joke.
Jerry: What about all your Jewish jokes?
Tim Whatley: I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. You have no idea what my people have been through.
Jerry: The Jews?
Tim Whatley: No, the dentists. You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession?
Jerry: Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?