Jerry Quote #866
Quote from Jerry in The Conversion
Jerry: Fungicide. I mean what could she have?
Elaine: I don't know.
Kramer: Fungus.
Elaine: So what did you say?
Jerry: I said I was coming down with the flu or something and I had to go home.
Elaine: What were you doing opening her medicine cabinet?
Jerry: I didn't open it. It was open. I just nudged it a little.
Elaine: You were snooping.
Jerry: I was not snooping. I did not break the seal. There was no breaking and entering. I wouldn't do that.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Conversion’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: I can't believe how easy it is. I'm virtually Orthodox. All I have to do is read a few books, memorize a few prayers, and I'm in the club.
Jerry: That's all there is to it?
George: That's all there is to it. By Christmas day, I will be Brother Costanza.
Jerry: And what is Brother Costanza planning on telling Mother Costanza?
George: Brother Costanza will be taking the vow of silence.
Quote from George
Older Priest: I must say, George, I was somewhat surprised at the results of your conversion test. I don't recall having seen such an impressive performance. You truly must be filled with the spirit of the Lord.
George: Oh, I'm... I'm full of it, Father.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: You know, doctor is supposed to be such a prestigious occupation. But it’s really like one of the only jobs where you have to have your diploma right up there on the wall. It makes them seem so insecure, doesn't it? "I really am a doctor, you know. You think I'm not, just check it out." I mean, I don't know why they need these little bits of psychological leverage over us all the time. "Go in that little room, take your pants off, wait 15 minutes, and then I'll give you my opinion." I mean, after that, anyone that comes in with pants on seems like they know what they’re talking about. In any difference of opinion, pants always beats no-pants.