Jerry Quote #862
Quote from Jerry in The Cigar Store Indian
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I was always excited as a kid, when that new TV Guide would come. Somehow when that front cover's nice and flat, seems like there's good fresh TV shows in. Then, as the weeks go by you start to hate the TV Guide. All the shows stink. Everything's getting all crumpled and ripped from being sat on, thrown across the room. TV Guide is always thrown, never handed, to another person. It's the world's most thrown reading material. "Where's the TV Guide?" [mimes throwing] "There it is." You know, on the back of the TV Guide, they have a phone number, ninety-five cents a minute, they will give you the answers to the TV Guide crossword puzzle? My question is, if you can't do the TV Guide crossword puzzle, where are you coming across ninety-five cents?
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Cigar Store Indian’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, hey, hey, hey. You know what would make a great coffee table book? A coffee table book about coffee tables! Get it?
Quote from Jerry
Winona: So, where are we gonna go eat?
Jerry: I thought we'd eat at the Gentle Harvest.
Winona: Ooh, I love that place, but it's usually so crowded. Can we get a table?
Jerry: Ah, don't worry. I made reser... [stops himself]
Winona: You made what?
Jerry: I uh, I uh, I arranged for the appropriate accommodation. And then, Knick tickets, floor seats.
Winona: How did you get these?
Jerry: Got 'em on the street, from a scal... [stops himself again] A uh, one of those guys.
Winona: What guys?
Jerry: You know, the guys, that uh, they sell the tickets for the sold-out events.
Winona: Oh.
Quote from Jerry
Winona: Jerry, I really need it back. It, it is mine.
Jerry: You can't give something and then take it back. I mean, what are you... [stops himself]
Winona: What?
Jerry: A uh, a person that uh...
Winona: A person that what?
Jerry: Well, a person that gives something and then they're dissatisfied and they wish they had, had never uh...
Winona: And?
Jerry: ...given it to the person that they originally gave it to.
Winona: You mean like, an Indian giver?!
Jerry: I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.