Jerry Quote #1798
Bryant Gumbel: Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be, kind of, a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.
Bryant Gumbel: Will you wear the puffy shirt at the..?
Jerry: Look, it's not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What's the difference? I agreed to wear it. It's a puffy shirt. I feel ridiculous in it. I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie: [o.s., loudly] You bastard!
Bryant Gumbel: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.
Quote from Jerry
Bryant Gumbel: Back now, 7:46. On Tuesday the 19th here in New York there will be a benefit for the Goodwill Industries, a used clothing organization that provides service to the needy. One of the performers will be comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry, good morning.
Jerry: Thank you, Bryant.
Bryant Gumbel: And speaking of clothing , that is a very, very unusual shirt you have on.
Jerry: Oh, thank you.
Bryant Gumbel: You're all kinda.. All kinda "puffed up". [chuckles]
Jerry: Yeah, it's a puffy shirt.
Quote from Estelle Costanza
Estelle Costanza: I knew it. I knew it. I always knew you always had beautiful hands. I used to tell people. Frank, didn't I use to talk about his hands?
Frank Costanza: Who the hell did you ever mention his hands to?
Estelle Costanza: I mentioned his hands to plenty of people!
Frank Costanza: You never mentioned them to me!
George: Hand me an Emory board.
Estelle Costanza: I always talk about your hands. How they're so soft and milky white.
Frank Costanza: No! You never said milky white!
Estelle Costanza: I said milky white!
Quote from The Yada Yada
Tim Whatley: Father Curtis told me about your little joke.
Jerry: What about all your Jewish jokes?
Tim Whatley: I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. You have no idea what my people have been through.
Jerry: The Jews?
Tim Whatley: No, the dentists. You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession?
Jerry: Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?
Quote from The Outing
Jerry: Oh, God. You're that girl in the coffee shop that was eavesdropping on us. I knew you looked familiar.
George: Oh, no! No!
Sharon: I better get going.
Jerry: There's been a big misunderstanding here. We did that for your benefit. We knew you were eavesdropping. That's why my friend said all that. It was on purpose. We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.