Jerry Quote #651
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Men are obsessed with cleavage. Women are obsessed with shoes. It's the same for both sexes. It doesn't matter how many times we've seen these things, every time these objects are presented to us... We have to look. We cannot not look. To men, cleavage is the closet thing to a nearby UFO landing. That's what it is. Women, if women buy a pair of shoes that they really love, then this is like boarding the alien ship. I think it's entirely possible that aliens have landed and they haven't been able to get our attention because we're so preoccupied with cleavage and shoes.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Shoes’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: [imitates Gail] "Oh, look at you, the Botticelli's."
Jerry: That bothered you?
Elaine: Yes, it bothered me. So I bought a pair of shoes at Botticelli's, I'm not allowed to shop there? That really embarrassed me.
Jerry: It did?
Elaine: Yes! Couldn't you see that?
Jerry: No. This is why you're not in the pilot.
Quote from George
Jerry: Now come on, let's stay with it, we gotta finish this today.
George: Okay. Hey, you know what, maybe I should give it to my therapist to read. She's smart, I trust her.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe I'll give it to Elaine.
George: Hey, you know, we haven't brought the Elaine character into the show yet. We should try and get her into this scene.
Jerry: Right, right. Okay. [writes] "Elaine enters." What does she say...?
George: I don't know, what do women say?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: I don't even know what they think. That's why I'm in therapy.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: You are never gonna believe who I just ran into today.
Jerry: Who?
Kramer: Your old flame. Gail Cunningham.
Jerry: Did you talk to her?
Kramer: Well, I was on my way to the Y, and I saw her coming towards me? I didn't know what to do! Because I remembered you had three dates with her and she wouldn't kiss you goodnight. So now I'm thinking, you know, what is my duty to my friend? Do I acknowledge her? Do I ignore her? I mean, what is my responsibility here?
Jerry: So what happened?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, so she sees me and she goes, [female voice] "Oh, hi! Kramer!" You know? Like nothing happened! Like she never, you know, went three dates with you and refused to kiss you goodnight.
Jerry: Yeah, I know about the three dates.
Kramer: You know what I did? I snubbed her.
Jerry: What do you mean, you snubbed her?
Kramer: I walked right by her... Never said a word.
Jerry: Right by her?
Kramer: Right by her!