Jerry Quote #640
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The basic problem with the beginning of the relationship, I think, is that each person has their own sexual time-table of what should happen when, that the other person knows nothing about. That's why I really think we need some sort of sexual rule book, where it's written down and agreed upon. Sexual, standard, dating procedure. Know what I mean? So if there's any problems, you can go, "Look, honey, I'm very sorry, but we've been out three times, and according to Article 7, Section 5, there's got to be some physical contact, as you can see. Otherwise, I will report you to the board, and they can put out a warrant for an embrace."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Shoes’ Quotes
Quote from George
Jerry: Now come on, let's stay with it, we gotta finish this today.
George: Okay. Hey, you know what, maybe I should give it to my therapist to read. She's smart, I trust her.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe I'll give it to Elaine.
George: Hey, you know, we haven't brought the Elaine character into the show yet. We should try and get her into this scene.
Jerry: Right, right. Okay. [writes] "Elaine enters." What does she say...?
George: I don't know, what do women say?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: I don't even know what they think. That's why I'm in therapy.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: [imitates Gail] "Oh, look at you, the Botticelli's."
Jerry: That bothered you?
Elaine: Yes, it bothered me. So I bought a pair of shoes at Botticelli's, I'm not allowed to shop there? That really embarrassed me.
Jerry: It did?
Elaine: Yes! Couldn't you see that?
Jerry: No. This is why you're not in the pilot.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: You are never gonna believe who I just ran into today.
Jerry: Who?
Kramer: Your old flame. Gail Cunningham.
Jerry: Did you talk to her?
Kramer: Well, I was on my way to the Y, and I saw her coming towards me? I didn't know what to do! Because I remembered you had three dates with her and she wouldn't kiss you goodnight. So now I'm thinking, you know, what is my duty to my friend? Do I acknowledge her? Do I ignore her? I mean, what is my responsibility here?
Jerry: So what happened?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, so she sees me and she goes, [female voice] "Oh, hi! Kramer!" You know? Like nothing happened! Like she never, you know, went three dates with you and refused to kiss you goodnight.
Jerry: Yeah, I know about the three dates.
Kramer: You know what I did? I snubbed her.
Jerry: What do you mean, you snubbed her?
Kramer: I walked right by her... Never said a word.
Jerry: Right by her?
Kramer: Right by her!