Jerry Quote #594
Quote from Jerry in The Airport
Jerry: So, this worked out pretty good. Them giving me an extra ticket. You know, you get a free trip to St. Louis, I did my gig, you got to see your sister...
Elaine: Yeah, worked out good.
Jerry: And here's the beauty.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: George is picking us up at the airport.
Elaine: Get out of here! Why?
Jerry: You know that awning outside my building?
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: He's always bragging about his vertical leap, so I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't touch the awning.
Elaine: So what happened?
Jerry: He didn't come within two feet of the thing. He's waving at it. So, I told him if he picks us up at the airport, he wouldn't have to pay me anything.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Airport’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Have you noticed that everything on planes is always tiny? There's always tiny food, tiny liquor bottles, tiny pillows, tiny bathroom, tiny sink, tiny soap. Everyone's in a cramped seat, working on a tiny computer. There's always a small problem "There'll be a slight delay. We'll be a bit late. If you could be a little patient. We're just trying to get one of those little trucks to pull us up just a little closer to the jetway so you can walk down the narrow hallway. There'll be a man there in a tight suit and he'll tell you you have very little time to make your connecting flight. So move it!''.
Quote from Elaine
Attendant: Excuse me. Excuse me!
Elaine: What? Oh, no, nothing for me thanks.
Attendant: What is your name?
Elaine: Elaine Benes?
Attendant: [checks her list] Hmm. You're going to have to go back to coach.
Elaine: No, but there was nobody sitting here.
Attendant: Yes, but you're still not allowed. These seats are very expensive.
Elaine: Oh, no. Please, don't send me back there. Please, I'll do anything. It's so nice up here. It's so comfortable up here. I don't want to go back there. Please don't send me back there! Oh, you got cookies.
Attendant: You're going to have to go back to your seat!
Elaine: Okay, fine. I'll go back... You know, our goal should be a society without classes. [after returning to coach] Do you realize that the people up here are getting cookies!
Quote from George
Prisoner: Gotta get my TIME magazine. Never miss my TIME magazine.
Guard: Yeah, get your magazine and let's get out of here.
Prisoner: Hey, I was gonna take that!
George: Gee, I'm sorry... I got here first.
Prisoner: I don't care when you got here, I want the magazine...
George: You don't understand, there's a blurb about me in this magazine!
Prisoner: A blurb?!? You're a blurb! Check out the cover, idiot!
Guard: All right, let's go...
[George turns over the magazine to find a picture of the prisoner on the front-cover with the title "Caught"]
Prisoner: I want the magazine!
George: Um, no.
Prisoner: You know what I would do to you, if I wasn't in these shackles...
George: But you are, Blanche. You are in the shackles. [chuckles] Oh, I can't wait to read my TIME magazine! Last copy, too. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow, in the park! It's supposed to be a beautiful day! Have a nice life... sentence, that is! You miserable...