Jerry Quote #591
Quote from Jerry in The Contest
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Men wanna see women naked. Whatever it is that you won't show us, that's what we're obsessed with seeing. I mean, if women always wore hats in public, all the time, you'd see men buying "Playhead magazine". You know, "Skulls of the Big 10". This would be the only thing that we're interested in. What about these cultures in, like, National Geographic, where everybody is naked. What are the men in these cultures trying to look at when the women walk by? How could you have a strip club in a place like that? A woman goes on the stage, takes off the necklace and takes out nose ring, that's it, show's over. Men are in the audience going, "Boy, did you see that little indentation in the top of her lip? I told you, this place is hot."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Contest’ Quotes
Quote from Estelle Costanza
Estelle Costanza: I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at three o'clock in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk. I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!
George: Ma.
Estelle Costanza: Don't give me "Ma". It's a good thing I didn't hit the table. I could have cracked my head open.
George: Ma, people can hear you.
Estelle Costanza: Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you. You could be a big star!
George: All right, Ma, that's enough!
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: John F. Kennedy Jr.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: He was in my aerobics class.
Jerry: Really? Did you talk to him?
Elaine: No, you don't understand. He was working out right in front of me. So, listen, after the class was over, I timed my walk to the door so we'd get there at the exact same moment, and he says to me, "Quite a workout."
George: "Quite a workout"? What did you say?
Elaine: I said, "Yeah."
Jerry: Good one.
Elaine: So then, listen, listen. So then, I showered and I dressed, and I saw him again, on the way out. So we're walking and talking, and he asked me my name. Ad I think I said Elaine, but, I mean, who the hell knows. And so then, he says to me: "Do you wanna split a cab uptown?" And I said, "Sure", even though I was going downtown. So, we get in the cab, and I mean, I have no idea where I'm goin', right? But this is John F. Kennedy Jr. we're talking about! So, then, he says to me, "Where do you live?" And I- And I- And I was close to your block, so I said your building. So he dropped me off in front, [laughs] and I had to take a cab all the way back downtown to my house. Oh, God..
Jerry: But the question is, are you still master of your domain?
Elaine: Oh, I'm queen of the castle.
Quote from George
George: First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint. She started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it.
Kramer: Man..
George: I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
Jerry: What did you do?
George: I zipped up!
Elaine: So, she fell?
George: Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!
Elaine: No, I guess you couldn't have...
Jerry: No, I wouldn't think so.
Elaine: ...done that.
George: So, she fell, and then she started screaming, "My back! My back!" So, I picked her up and took her to the hospital.