Jerry Quote #535

Quote from Jerry in The Bubble Boy

Elaine: [laughs] There is "nothing finer than being in your diner"?
Jerry: No good?
Elaine: This is what you came up with?
Jerry: Well.
Elaine: That is so lame, Jerry. People are going to be reading that for the next twenty years and laughing at you.
Jerry: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Excuse me. Excuse me. Would you mind? I'd like to take the picture back. I'm not happy with what I wrote.
Waitress: It's good. I like it.
Jerry: No, believe me, it's not good. I'll mail you a new one with something really funny written on it.
Waitress: Well, when you mail me a new one I'll send you back this one.
Jerry: No, look, you don't understand. I, I want the picture.
Waitress: Right! [exits]

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 ‘The Bubble Boy’ Quotes

Quote from George

Donald: [o.s.] Okay, history. This is for the game. How you doing over there? Not too good.
George: All right, bubble boy. Let's just play. "Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?"
Donald: That's a joke. The Moors.
George: Oh, no. I'm so sorry. It's the "Moops". The correct answer is, the "Moops".
Donald: Moops? Let me see that. [takes card with gloved hand] That's not Moops, you jerk. That's Moors. It's a misprint.
George: I'm sorry. The card says Moops.
Donald: It doesn't matter. It's Moors. There's no Moops.
George: It's Moops.

Quote from Jerry

Mel Sanger: Excuse me. Anyway, we were watching you on TV.
Jerry: You get in the bubble with him?
Mel Sanger: No. He can see through the bubble. It's plastic.
Jerry: Oh, I thought it was like an igloo.
Mel Sanger: No, it's clear.
Jerry: Ah-ha.
Elaine: Who has the remote?
Mel Sanger: He does.
Elaine: The remote goes through the bubble?
Mel Sanger: Yeah, he's in the bubble with the remote.
Jerry: So you have no control over the remote?
Mel Sanger: No, it's frustrating.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Have you ever called someone up and you're disappointed when they answer the phone? You wanted the machine! You know, and you're always kind of thrown off. You go, "Oh, I didn't know you were there. I just wanted to leave you a message saying, 'Sorry I missed you.'" So here what we have is two people hate each other, don't ever really want to talk, but the phone machine is like this relationship respirator keeping these marginal, brain-dead relationships alive. And we all do it. Why? So that when we come home, you can see that little flashing red light. All right, messages. See, people need that. It's very important for human beings to feel popular and well-liked amongst a large group of people we don't care for.