Jerry Quote #498

Quote from Jerry in The Pitch/The Ticket

Jerry: You know, we're supposed to be there by two o'clock. We should take a cab.
George: All right, we'll be a little late. I'm not taking a cab.
Jerry: I'll pay for it.
George: It's not the money.
Jerry: Well, what is it you object to? The comfort? The speed? The convenience?

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 ‘The Pitch/The Ticket’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

Male Voice: [on the phone] Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
Jerry: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
Male Voice: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Male Voice: No.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel. [hangs up]

Quote from George

George: They wanna have another meeting? They wanna buy it? They wanna buy it? Oh, I tell you, we're gonna be rich! What are we gonna get for this? Fifty, sixty thousand?
Jerry: I don't know about sixty.
George: Oh, it's gotta be fifty. [giddy laugh] You know how much Ted Danson makes, huh?
Jerry: Ted Danson. Now, how are you comparing us to Ted Danson?
George: I didn't say we're Ted Danson.
Jerry: Yes, you did. You said we're Ted Danson!
George: Oh!
Jerry: You know, I think he wears a piece.
George: Yeah, don't worry. He can afford it.

Quote from George

George: See, this should be a show. This is the show.
Jerry: What?
George: This. Just talking.
Jerry: [dismissive] Yeah, right.
George: I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea.
Jerry: Just talking? Well what's the show about?
George: It's about nothing.
Jerry: No story?
George: No, forget the story.
Jerry: You've got to have a story.
George: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for, for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a TV show.

 Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Quote from The Puffy Shirt

Bryant Gumbel: Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be, kind of, a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.
Jerry: Yeah.
Bryant Gumbel: Will you wear the puffy shirt at the..?
Jerry: Look, it's not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What's the difference? I agreed to wear it. It's a puffy shirt. I feel ridiculous in it. I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie: [o.s., loudly] You bastard!
Bryant Gumbel: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.

Quote from The Yada Yada

Tim Whatley: Father Curtis told me about your little joke.
Jerry: What about all your Jewish jokes?
Tim Whatley: I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. You have no idea what my people have been through.
Jerry: The Jews?
Tim Whatley: No, the dentists. You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession?
Jerry: Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?

Quote from The Outing

Jerry: Oh, God. You're that girl in the coffee shop that was eavesdropping on us. I knew you looked familiar.
George: Oh, no! No!
Sharon: I better get going.
Jerry: There's been a big misunderstanding here. We did that for your benefit. We knew you were eavesdropping. That's why my friend said all that. It was on purpose. We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.