Jerry Quote #448
Quote from Jerry in The Boyfriend
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Unemployment's a tough thing. Even after you get a job, they take unemployment out of your check every week and show it to you in that little box. How good can it be for your confidence that every paycheck you get has the word unemployment on it? You can't get it out of your mind. You just got the job. They're already getting ready for you to be laid off. I have a friend who's unemployed. He's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked this hard in his life to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines, and getting interviewed, and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea the effort and energy he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise. I'm sure of it. The guy is doing a tremendous job not working.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Boyfriend’ Quotes
Quote from George
Mrs. Sokol: So where have you been looking for work?
George: Well, you know what I've discovered, Mrs. Sokol, it's not so much the looking as the listening. I listen for work. And as I'm looking and listening, I am also looking. You can't discount looking. It's sort of a combination. It's looking, and listening, listening and looking. But you must look.
Mrs. Sokol: Can you be specific about any of these companies?
George: Specific. Ah, let's see. I've walked in and out of so many buildings they all blend together. I, uh...
Mrs. Sokol: Well, just give me one name.
George: Absolutely, uh... Lets see... There's, uh, Vandelay Industries. I just saw them. I got very close there. Very close.
Mrs. Sokol: And what type of company is that?
George: Latex. Latex manufacturing, Mrs. Sokol.
Mrs. Sokol: And you interviewed there?
George: Yes, for a sales position. Latex salesman. The selling of latex, and latex-related products. They just wouldn't give me a chance. Damn it!
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: See, to me, going to the health club, you see all these people and they're working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape, but the strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is that so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercise. This is the whole thing. The other thing I don't get about it, is why we're so careful about locking up our dirty towels and smelly jock-straps. What exactly is the black market on these disgusting gym clothes? I'll give my car to any valet guy in front of a restaurant because he has a short red jacket. "Yeah, he must be the valet guy." I don't even think about it, but my stinking, putrefied gym clothes, I got one of these locks you could put a bullet through it and it won't open. That stuff is safe.
Quote from Newman
Jerry: Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise of your account. Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for Miss Benes, as I've heard this story a number of times. Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. According to your story, Hernandez passes you and starts walking up the ramp. Then you say you were struck on the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then came off the rib, made a right turn, hitting Newman in the right wrist, causing him to drop his baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses in mid air, mind you, makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. That is one magic luggie.
Newman: Well, that's the way it happened.