Jerry Quote #228
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Why is it so difficult, uncomfortable to be naked. It's because when you have clothes on, you can always kinda make those little adjustments that people like to do... You feel like you're getting it together. Yeah, yeah, pretty good. Feeling good, looking good. But when you're naked, it's like it's so final. You're just, "Well, that's it. There's nothing else I can do." That's why I like to wear a belt when I'm naked. Cause I feel it gives me something. I know I'm naked, but you know... I'd like to get pockets to hang off of the belt that would be... Wouldn't that be the ultimate? To be naked and still be able to do this... I think that would really help a lot.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Truth’ Quotes
Quote from George
Jerry: A mental institution?
Kramer: You know what they do in there? Did you see Cuckoo's Nest? They put those electrodes in your head.
George: It's not really a mental institution. It's more like a depression clinic. She went out to Woodhaven and checked herself in. I'm- I'm sick over this.
Elaine: Who told you this?
George: Her roommate. I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: What was I supposed to do? You knew I was on my first date with Elaine. You come barging in here asking me to contribute money for a volcano relief fund for Krakatoa.
Kramer: It was supposed to erupt.
Jerry: I find the whole thing very embarrassing.
Kramer: Well, you know what my feelings are about this. I don't even pay taxes.
Jerry: Yeah, that's easy when you have no income.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: if this audit had happened to me and I didn't have this woman to help me, I would have killed this man. I would have strangled the life out of him with my bare hands.
Elaine: I don't blame you.
Jerry: Have you ever been through an audit?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: It's hell. It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination. I would have killed this man. Torn him limb from limb, ripped the flesh right off his bones...