Jerry: A mental institution?
Kramer: You know what they do in there? Did you see Cuckoo's Nest? They put those electrodes in your head.
George: It's not really a mental institution. It's more like a depression clinic. She went out to Woodhaven and checked herself in. I'm- I'm sick over this.
Elaine: Who told you this?
George: Her roommate. I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.

Jerry: if this audit had happened to me and I didn't have this woman to help me, I would have killed this man. I would have strangled the life out of him with my bare hands.
Elaine: I don't blame you.
Jerry: Have you ever been through an audit?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: It's hell. It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination. I would have killed this man. Torn him limb from limb, ripped the flesh right off his bones...

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the show. Ah, the extra buttons. Yeah, what kind of a sicko really would save these? Have them in a huge file, drawers that wide, you know you just... Where the hell is that...? I mean is it that hard to get black, round buttons that they have to make it into a whole... Like this is such a great jacket. The buttons are so unique, so one-of-a-kind, you'll never find them. We'll save you the trouble of knocking your brains out, because we know they're going to fall off, too. That's the other point they're trying to make here.