Jerry Quote #184
Quote from Jerry in The Baby Shower
Jerry: Explain to me how this baby shower thing works.
Elaine: What do you wanna know?
Jerry: Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?
Elaine: Rarely.
Jerry: There's no hazing of the fetus, or anything, is there?
Elaine: No, nuh-uh.
Jerry: When is this suppose to be?
Elaine: Saturday.
Jerry: Saturday? Well, I have a show in Buffalo on Saturday. They're not gonna bust up my apartment, or anything, are they?
Elaine: No, I'll take full responsibility. You won't regret it.
Jerry: No, 'cause I've seen these pregnant women, and they sometimes misjudge their fetal girth. Just like one wrong turn, and the whole buffet is, like, right off the table.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Baby Shower’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: What do you do at the end of a date when you know you don't want to see this person ever again, for the rest of your life? What do you say? What do you say? No matter what you say, it's a lie. "I'll see you around. See you around. If you're around, and I'm around, I'll see you around that area. You'll be around other people. You won't be around me. But you will be around." "Take care now." Did you ever say that to somebody? "Take care now. Take care, now. Because, I'm not going to be taking care of you. So, you should take care, now." "Take care. Take care." What does this mean? "Take off!" Isn't that what you really want to say? "Take off now."
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm not afraid of flying, although many people do have fear of flying and, I have no argument with that. I think fear of flying is quite rational, because human beings cannot fly. Humans have fear of flying same way fish have fear of driving. You put a fish behind the wheel, and they go, "This isn't right. I shouldn't be doing this. I don't belong here."
Quote from George
George: Someday, before I die, mark my words, I'm gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do.
Jerry: And if you do?
George: Well, I still won't be able to forgive myself, but at least it won't be about this.