Seinfeld - Elaine Quote #40
Elaine: Which one is he?
George: That's him over there. The one that looks like a blowfish.
Elaine: Oh, yeah. I see him.
George: Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing this.
Elaine: Why pass up the opportunity to go to prison?
George: This is by far the most exciting thing I've ever done.
Elaine: Yeah. It is kind of cool.
George: First time in my life I've ever gotten back at someone.
Elaine: I can't believe we're doing this. This is the kind of thing they do in the movies.
George: That's exactly what I told Jerry!
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Whenever I see the news and they're hauling in some criminal, terrorist, psycho, maniac, mass-murder guy. You ever notice he's always covering up his face with the newspaper, with the jacket, with the hat? What is he worried about? I mean, what is this man's reputation that he has to worry about this kind of exposure damaging his good name? I mean, what, what is he up for a big job promotion down at the office or something? Afraid the boss is going to catch this on TV and go, "Isn't that Johnson from sales? He's up in the clock tower, picking people off one by one. I don't know if that's the kind of man we want heading up that new branch office. He should be in bill collection. I think he's got aptitude."
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: People like the idea of revenge. You ever hear the expression, "The best revenge is living well"? I've said this. In other words, it means, supposedly, the best way of getting back at someone, is being happy and successful in your own live. Sounds nice. Doesn't really work on that Charles Bronson kind of level, you know what I mean? Those movies where his whole family just gets wiped out by some street scum. You think you could go up to him, "Charlie, forget the .357. What you need is a custom-made suit and a convertible. New carpeting, French doors, a divan. That'll show those punks.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: To me, the most annoying thing about the couple of times that I did work in an office, is that when you go in on a morning, you say "hi" to everyone, and then, for some reason, throughout the day, you have to continue to greet these people all day, every time you see them. I mean, you walk in on the morning, "Morning, BIll." "Morning, Bob." "How you doing?" "Fine." Ten minutes later, you see them in the hall, "Hey. How you doing?" Every time you pass, you got to come up with a little greeting. You know, you start racking your brains. You know, you do the little eyebrow. You start coming up with nicknames for them, you know, "Jimbo."
Quote from The Muffin Tops
Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr. Lippman: So you just eat the tops?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy. It's explosive. It's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.
Quote from The Glasses
Elaine: I've got such a headache. Oh, that's another symptom!
Kramer: Of what?
Kramer: Oh, that's fatal. You don't want that!
Elaine: [grabs Kramer] I know I don't want it! I don't need you to tell me what I don't want, you stupid hipster dufus!
Quote from The Andrea Doria
George: The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor.
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George: You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.