Jerry Quote #113
Quote from Jerry in The Phone Message
[stand-up:]
Jerry: What's brutal about the date is the scrutiny that you put each other through. Because whenever you think about this person in terms of the future, you have to magnify everything about them. You know, like the guy'll be like, "'I don't think her eyebrows are even. Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?" And of course the woman's looking at the guy, thinking "What is he looking at? Do I want somebody looking at me like this for the rest of my life?"
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Phone Message’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: I can't stand doing laundry. That's why I have forty pairs of underwear.
Carol: You do not.
George: Absolutely. Because instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over three hundred and sixty pair. That way, I only have to do wash once a year.
Quote from Elaine
Jerry: I'm supposed to see her again on Thursday, but can I go out with someone who actually likes this commercial.
Elaine: I once broke up with a guy because he didn't keep his bathroom clean enough.
Jerry: No kidding. Did you tell him that was the reason?
Elaine: Oh yeah, I told him all the time. You would not have believed his tub. Germs were building a town in there. They were constructing offices. Houses near the drain were going for $150,000.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. Did you ever see anybody on TV like just sliding off the front of the sofa with potato chip crumbs on their face? Some people have a little too much fun on television: the soda commercial people. Where do they summon this enthusiasm? Have you seen them? "We have soda, we have soda, we have soda", jumping, laughing, flying through the air. It's a can of soda. Have you ever been standing there and you're watching TV and you're drinking the exact same product that they're advertising right there on TV? And it's like, you know, they're spiking volleyballs, jet-skiing, girls in bikinis and I'm standing there... "Maybe I'm putting too much ice in mine."