Morty Seinfeld Quotes     Page 8 of 8

Quote from The Cadillac

Herb: Building D?
Mrs. Choate: Against impeachment.
Jack: [whispers to Morty] I can't believe you got that old bag.
[Jack's comments prompt Mrs. Choate to remember Jerry calling her an old bag as he stole her rye bread on the streets of New York]
Mrs. Choate: It's him. [points at Morty] It's your son. Now I know where I saw him. He stole my marble rye.
Morty Seinfeld: My son never stole anything. He's a good boy.
Ralph: They should lock him up.
Mrs. Choate: Like father, like son. I change my vote. I vote to impeach!


Quote from The Money

Morty Seinfeld: Helen, did you pack my travel gym?
Helen Seinfeld: Yes. Oh, your father bought a exercise device off the television. He does it every morning at four.
Morty Seinfeld: Only twenty-five minutes a day, and you can attach it to any doorknob.

Quote from The Money

Helen Seinfeld: Who was that?
Jerry: That was the Golden Nugget. Also in Atlantic City. They heard such good things about my show at Bally's, they want me for tonight. So I'll have to repack, and go. [goes into bedroom]
Morty Seinfeld: That didn't sound like the Golden Nugget.
Helen Seinfeld: I'm worried. What happens if we have to support Jerry?
Morty Seinfeld: I'd have to go back to work.
Helen Seinfeld: Where would you work?
Morty Seinfeld: Maybe I should talk to Elaine.

Quote from The English Patient

Jerry: Hiya, dad.
Morty Seinfeld: Who are they?
Jerry: They're Cuban cigar rollers.
Morty Seinfeld: Don't tell your mother.

Quote from The English Patient

Morty Seinfeld: [on the phone] Hey, Jerry. Number #1 here. Did you go see Izzy at the backspecialist?
Jerry: I will. I just walked in the door.
Helen Seinfeld: You have to go see him.
Jerry: Ma.
Morty Seinfeld: Helen, will you stop bothering him.
Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, that shirt has gone right to his head.
Morty Seinfeld: Number #1 signing off.

Quote from The Wizard

Morty Seinfeld: Rise and shine, sleepyhead.
Jerry: It's 5:30 in the morning.
Helen Seinfeld: We let you sleep in.
Jerry: Well, as long as I'm up, Dad, I got you a birthday present. Here. Happy birthday.
Morty Seinfeld: Oh, Jerry. I should be buying you presents.
Jerry: What does that mean?

Quote from The Pony Remark

Morty Seinfeld: You know what my greatest moment was, don't you? 1946. I went to work for Harry Flemming and I came up with the idea for the beltless trench coat.
Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, look at this sport jacket. Is this a jacket to wear to an anniversary party?
Jerry: Well, the man's an individualist. He worked for Harry Flemming. He knows what he's doing.

Quote from The Wallet

Helen Seinfeld: [enters] What's going on?
Morty Seinfeld: They stole my wallet.
Helen Seinfeld: What?
Morty Seinfeld: While I was in getting X-rayed.
Dr. Dembrow: All right, Mr. Seinfeld, I am sorry about your wallet, but would you like me to look over these X-Rays?
Morty Seinfeld: What kind of clip joint are you running here?

Quote from The Raincoats

Aaron: I was able to finagle two more tickets to "My Fair Lady" and I thought why not ask Morty and Helen.
Elaine: Great.
Morty Seinfeld: This is some office. What's the square footage?
Helen Seinfeld: You don't mind to you Elaine?
Elaine: Mind? Oh, of course not.
Aaron: We can make a whole day of it.
Morty Seinfeld: This is some building. Harry Fleming used to have an office here. There was a deli on the first floor. You don't get corned beef like that anymore. What happened to that deli?
Elaine: I really don't know, Mr. Seinfeld.

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