Elaine: John F. Kennedy Jr.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: He was in my aerobics class.
Jerry: Really? Did you talk to him?
Elaine: No, you don't understand. He was working out right in front of me. So, listen, after the class was over, I timed my walk to the door so we'd get there at the exact same moment, and he says to me, "Quite a workout."
George: "Quite a workout"? What did you say?
Elaine: I said, "Yeah."
Jerry: Good one.
Elaine: So then, listen, listen. So then, I showered and I dressed, and I saw him again, on the way out. So we're walking and talking, and he asked me my name. Ad I think I said Elaine, but, I mean, who the hell knows. And so then, he says to me: "Do you wanna split a cab uptown?" And I said, "Sure", even though I was going downtown. So, we get in the cab, and I mean, I have no idea where I'm goin', right? But this is John F. Kennedy Jr. we're talking about! So, then, he says to me, "Where do you live?" And I- And I- And I was close to your block, so I said your building. So he dropped me off in front, [laughs] and I had to take a cab all the way back downtown to my house. Oh, God..
Jerry: But the question is, are you still master of your domain?
Elaine: Oh, I'm queen of the castle.

Waitress: [to a woman at the next table] Here's your knife and fork.
Jerry: Look, she's cutting up an Almond Joy.
Elaine: I just don't get it.
Jerry: You know, I saw someone on the street eating M&Ms with a spoon.
Elaine: What is wrong with everybody?
Jerry: Look, they're doing it. They're all doing it!
Elaine: What is wrong with all you people?! Have you all gone mad?!

Elaine: How could I have tested positive twice? I mean, once I could understand, that's a mistake. But twice?
Waitress: Yeah, it's hard to figure.
Elaine: I mean I lost my job, I can't go to Africa. I was gonna meet the Bushmen of the Kalahari.
Waitress: Ah, the Bushmen?
Elaine: And the Bushwomen.
Man: Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. I notice you're eating a poppy seed muffin.
Elaine: Yeah, I eat these muffins all the time.
Man: Well, you know what opium is made from...
Elaine: Poppies!

Elaine: How about if you bring me back something?
George: Sure, all right. What do you want?
Elaine: Um, hum, I don't know.. . . A big salad?
George: What big salad? I'm going to the coffee shop.
Elaine: They have big salads.
George: I've never seen a big salad.
Elaine: They have a big salad.
George: Is that what I ask for, the big salad?
Elaine: It's okay, you don't…
George: No, no. Hey I'll get it. What's in the big salad?
Jerry: Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs.

Elaine: He has this power over me, okay? He has this way of manipulating every little word I say. He's like a Svenjolly.
George: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly.
Elaine: I don't see how I could have said Svenjolly.
Jerry: So maybe he's got like a cheerful mental hold on you.

Elaine: I just went to go get popcorn, okay... and somebody took my seat, and my coat is in there.
Man: There's a seat in the front row.
Elaine: No, no, I can't sit in the front row.
Man: Well, you're just gonna have to wait then.
Elaine: I can't stand around here for two hours.
Man: I can let you see "Rochelle Rochelle".
Elaine: Thanks. Hey, listen, by the way, have you seen a tall, lanky doofus with a bird face and hair like the Bride of Frankenstein?
Man: Haven't seen him.

Elaine: Oh, the risotto broad.
Jerry: Yeah. He's really got a good thing with her. In fact I'm doubling with them tonight.
Elaine: I thought you didn't like double dates.
Jerry: George likes them. He feels it's a good personality showcase. He likes a date to see him with a friend so she can get a window into his non-date personality.
Elaine: I've looked through that window and screamed at him to shut the blinds.

Jerry: So he just gets soup. He wants to save the meal. So now I got to do it all over again.
Elaine: What kind of soup did he get?
Jerry: I don't know? Consomme or something.
Elaine: Consomme, hmm.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: Well, that's not really a meal, Jerry. I mean, if he had gotten chicken gumbo or matzah ball, even mushroom barley, then I would agree with you. Those are very hardy soups.

Elaine: You know, I've never heard anyone talk the way you do. It's very unusual.
Jimmy: Well, Jimmy's very unusual.
Elaine: Well, anyway, see when I made the date, I thought that Jimmy...
Jimmy: Hey, look. Hank's got a new boyfriend. Jimmy's not threatened by Hanks sexuality. Jimmy's happy for Hank.
Elaine: Elaine once tried to convert one, but Elaine's not going to go through that again.

Elaine: Mr. Peterman, Peggy. I guess we should just get this over with.
J. Peterman: Just hold on a minute. We're still one short.
Elaine: No, we're not.
Peggy: Susie has been very rude to me.
J. Peterman: Well, Elaine has nothing but good things to say about Susie.
Elaine: Look. We don't have to name names or point fingers... or name names. Me and her have had our problems. She and I have had our problems. You and I and she and you.
J. Peterman: Don't you drag me into this. This is between you and her and her.
Elaine: Yes. And I am convinced that if she were here with us today, she would agree with me too.
J. Peterman: Who?
Elaine: Her.
J. Peterman: Where is she?
Elaine: This is part of the problem.
Peggy: I thought I was part of this problem.
Elaine: You're a huge part of the problem. But I think that at its core this is a Susie-and-Elaine problem that requires a Susie-and-Elaine solution. And who better to do that than... Elaine and Susie, Susie and Elaine.
J. Peterman: Well, now that we have that cleared up... why don't the three of us have lunch?
Elaine: [loudly] What? Oh, I'm coming. I gotta go. [runs off]
J. Peterman: [to Peggy] She is the best. What was your name again?