David Puddy: [answers phone after staring blankly] Puddy.
Kramer: Is David Puddy there?
David Puddy: This is Puddy.
Kramer: Oh, this is Kramer.
David Puddy: I know.
Kramer: Hey, listen, you're a mechanic. Could you help me install a garbage disposal?
David Puddy: You gotta dismantle the latch hasp from the auxiliary drainage line.
Kramer: No, it says main line.
David Puddy: It's a misprint. What do you got, a Clarkman?
Kramer: Yeah.
David Puddy: I'll call you back. I'll talk you through it.
Kramer: Oh, okay. Well, thanks, Puddy.

Elaine: I don't believe this woman.
David Puddy: Talk to me, babe.
Elaine: She's this crazy woman who is convinced that my germs make her sick.
David Puddy: Oh, a germaphobe. I know what that's about. I'm a recovering germaphobe. Ten years.
Elaine: What is this symbol?
David Puddy: It's a germ.

David Puddy: Sorry I'm late.
Elaine: My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion.
Jerry: Ah. Where'd you go?
Elaine: Uh, to a restaurant.
David Puddy: Arby's.
Elaine: I had the roast beef.

David Puddy: Paper jam. Got it! High-five. On the flip side.
Elaine: David, um, I..
David Puddy: Don't leave me hanging.
Elaine: You're a salesman now, and the high-five is... It's very grease monkey.
David Puddy: What did I tell you about that?
Elaine: I'm sorry, but the high-five is just so stupid.
David Puddy: Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what's stupid. You. Stupid.
Elaine: Well, that is really mature.
David Puddy: Yeah? So are you.
Elaine: Huh?
David Puddy: You're the grease monkey.
Elaine: Uh, that doesn't make any sense. I am leaving.

David Puddy: Let's finish this up.
Jerry: Did you two break up?
David Puddy: That chick's whacked. We're history. I just left out a couple of things: rust-proofing.
Jerry: Rust-proofing?
David Puddy: Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder's fee.
Jerry: Finder's fee? It was on the lot!
David Puddy: Yeah, that's right. And floor mats, keys..
Jerry: Keys?!
David Puddy: How you gonna start it?

Elaine: Why are you wearing that?
David Puddy: It's my winter coat.
Elaine: A fur?
David Puddy: Is there a problem?
Elaine: A seemingly infinite supply. [touches plate again] Ow. Careful, it's hot.
David Puddy: [touches plate] Ow!