[stand-up:]
Jerry: My accountant actually did take a big chunk of money from me and use it to buy drugs. And the thing that was hardest for me to comprehend about this is the life choice of drug abuse and accounting. But actually, it makes sense. Why would an athlete or musician take drugs? They have an interesting job. But an accountant? If ever a job required some hallucinogenic support. this is the job. That should be the legal defense. So, you're in court, "You're charged with possession of illegal narcotics." "But, Your Honor, I'm an accountant." Bang. "Case closed. Bailiff, give this man his peyote buttons and tequila back for the drive home. Sorry to bother you, sir. Terribly sorry."