[stand-up:]
Jerry: "Laundry-day" is the only exciting day in the live of clothes. It is. No, think about it, the washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. You know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening, they're all kind a dancing around in there. Shirt grabs the underwear, "C'mon babe, let's go". You come by, you open up the lid and they all... Socks are the most amazing article of clothing. They hate their lives. They're in the shoes with stinky feet, the boring drawers. The dryer is their only chance to escape and they all know it. They do escape from the dryer. They plan in it the hamper the night before. "Tomorrow, the dryer, I'm going. You wait here." The dryer door swings open, the sock is waiting up against the side wall. He hopes you don't see him. Then off he goes, down the road. [hums] They get buttons sowed on their face, join the puppet show. So they're showing me on television the detergent for getting out blood stains. Is this a violent image to anybody? Blood stains? I mean, I, come on, you got a T-shirt with blood-stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now. Maybe you ought to get the harpoon out your chest first.