J. Peterman: Elaine, do you have a moment? It's about your lover.
Elaine: Oh, yes. I know all about his little performance in the break room.
J. Peterman: Elaine, who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a love newton?
Elaine: Love newton?
J. Peterman: I'm afraid the problem with Zach is more serious. He's back on the horse, Elaine. Smack. White palace. The Chinamen's nightcap.
Elaine: An addict? Well, it just keeps getting better!
J. Peterman: And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles. Filled his head with pseudo-erotic tales of my own opium excursions. Plus, I have him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.