[stand-up:]
Jerry: It's an entire industry of bad gifts, aren't they? All those executive gifts. Any stupid, goofy, brass, wood thing, they put a piece of green felt on the bottom. "It's a golf, desk, tie and stress organizer, Dad." But to me, nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. There's no better way than a paperweight to express to someone that, "I refuse to put any thought into this at all." Where are these people working that the papers are just blowing right off of their desks? What, are their desks screwed to the back of a flat-bed truck going down the highway or something? What, are they typing up in the crow's nest of a clipper ship? What do you need a paperweight for?