J.D.: [v.o.] Of course, on some teams there's gonna be friction.
Dr. Wen: All right, we're done here. Bonnie, you close.
Turk: Damn.
Bonnie: Aw, don't be mad. Just be the good little bee-atch you are and wipe the sweat off my forehead.
Turk: Look, don't say "bee-atch." You can't pull it off. Which is interesting, being that you're the queen mother of all...
Bonnie: Dr. Wen, my forehead's feeling a little misty.
Dr. Wen: Dr. Turk, are your hands broken?
Turk: No. Here you go.
Bonnie: That's nice. Bee-atch.

J.D.: What's up, my negro amigo?
Turk: Nothing.
J.D.: Hey, the reason I paged you was because I can't figure out what's going on with Herbert. He's got acute back pain, but no causa equina signs.
Turk: If we have a girl, we're gonna name her Angie.

Brian: I could never get a girl like that.
Turk: Why?
Brian: Well, girls don't usually go for the piano-playing power geek.
Turk: Are you a good pianist?
Turk: [v.o.] Pianist. [laughs]
Brian: Yeah, I got a scholarship to Juilliard.
Turk: Bry-Bry, you're in the money! Girl's love the artsy type. You'll be getting more tail than you know what to do with.
Brian: Oh, okay.
Turk: "Tail" is sex, Brian.
Brian: Oh, awesome!

Turk: [talking in his sleep] It's nice to meet you too, Chuck.
Carla: Oh, he's having one of his Love Connection dreams.
Turk: You sure? I'd love to go out with her again if you'll pay for it.
Carla: Buppy.
Turk: [waking up] Uh? What?
Carla: We've been looking all over for you.
Turk: Why? What did I miss?
[flashback to Carla and Molly meeting Chuck Woolery:]
Chuck Woolery: Bye, Carla. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet your husband.
Carla: Oh, I know.
Dr. Molly Clock: So, Mr. Woolery: what have you been doing since The Love Connection was cancelled?
Chuck Woolery: Love Connection was never cancelled. It's just not on TV anymore. I still do the occasional episode in my basement with singles from the neighborhood. I'm not crazy.
Carla: No. [chuckles]
[present:]
Turk: Aww, stupid nap.