Todd Quinlan Quotes Page 2 of 16
Quote from My Princess
Carla: J.D., you're a parent now, you gotta be better prepared.
Turk: Yeah. That's why we just stocked up on extra baby oil lotion and diapers.
Todd: Why? Is there a party this week-end?
[everyone pauses]
J.D.: [v.o.] Recently we realized that with Todd, if we didn't move and stayed very quiet, he'd eventually get confused and leave.
Quote from My Happy Place
Todd: My guy needs a kidney now. Why wouldn't the Halfords say yes?
Turk: Because they're in no rush. Plus, the Halfords don't know the Brinkleys, so they don't trust them.
Dr. Cox: We're screwed.
Todd: Awesome.
Turk: In The Todd's world, if anybody gets screwed, it's a good thing.
Dr. Cox: Of course it is.
Quote from My Buddy's Booty
Elliot: Todd! Gun show!
Todd: [to a passing woman] Don't worry, Mam. I've got permits for these. Go ahead and touch 'em. The safety's on. Oof!
Quote from My Mentor
J.D.: [v.o.] I never really know what to say to Turk's stupid surgery buddies. But I'm getting better.
J.D.: So... How's surgery?
Todd: It rocks. But my bedroom, that's where I really operate. Am I right? Come on, show Todd some love!
J.D.: [v.o.] I hate showing Todd love.
[J.D. high-fives Todd]
Quote from My Mentor
Carla: Hey, Bambi, why are you slumming with these scalpel jocks?
Turk: Please, baby. This here's the VIP table. Why don't you sit your fine self down?
[Carla walks off]
J.D.: [chuckles] "Baby, this here's the VIP table"
Turk: I'm not really interested in her.
Todd: Yeah? Then maybe the Todd'll show that little biscuit some love. [chuckles]
[fantasy scene: Turk cracks the Todd's neck]
J.D.: [v.o.] Maybe he's a bit interested.
Todd: Fine. Todd'll show himself some love.
Quote from My Best Friend's Mistake
Turk: Okay, here's his chart, his transfer note. He's haemodynamically stable. Consider him officially turfed to medicine.
Todd: T-Man. I'm gonna get my grub on.
Turk: [to J.D.] Means he's gonna go eat.
Quote from My Super Ego
Todd: Dr. Wen threatened to sew my butt cheeks together.
Turk: And yet you continue to eat chilli.
Todd: Dude, I'm taking the cheese off.
Quote from My Nickname
Turk: I'm not afraid of Kelso. I just felt like eating in here.
J.D.: Go outside and stand up for yourself.
Turk: Hell, yeah. [exits]
Todd: You know what else stands up for itself?
J.D.: You know, Todd, I'm not sure. But I'm going to guess that it's your penis.
Todd: It is.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, no.
Quote from My Balancing Act
Todd: So when I saw you in the hall this morning and I said "How's your penis?" and you didn't wanna talk about it...
Turk: Dude. It's not me.
Quote from My Hero
Turk: Oh, come on, how could this guy be the best?
Dr. Wen: You want to know the difference is between you? When you're working I can always see your wheels turning. You're thinking about what to do next, what could go wrong. You're not in the moment. And as much as it pains me to say this, the Todd is.
Turk: [v.o.] Please. Just because I'm thorough and want to keep two Kelly clamps on in case the appendiceal artery is inadvertently incised so I can gain immediate haemostatic control doesn't mean I think too much. Plus what have I...
Todd: [v.o.] Shiny scalpel Dum de de dum, de de dum De de dum, gonna slice him up
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