Dr. Kelso: So I said to the lady, "Where can a well-hung marine buy a pair of shoes around here?" [laughs]
Turk: [laughs] I don't even know what that is.
Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, those days are gone.
Denise: Dr. Kelso, really? Please tell me you're not another one of Dr. Turk's gentleman suitors.
Dr. Kelso: I am indeed. I think it will be great to have a black friend to help me out with the sisters. Get my swirl on.
Turk: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Turk: You want to talk about sad, I spent the whole morning moping around 'cause J.D. wasn't here. It took me about an hour to get out of it.
Elliot: Oh, he said to say he misses you.
Turk: He did?
Elliot: Yeah.
[Turk exhales deeply as the Scrubs sad theme plays]
Elliot: It's okay. It's okay. He reacted the same way when he got your muffin basket.

Elliot: Look, Turk, I know that you're hurting, but you're gonna find someone else here to ride the eagle with.
Turk: Elliot, you don't ride the eagle. You eagle. You choose "toe or thumb?". You join "Fight Club with Pillows."
Elliot: You and J.D. had a pillow fight club?
Turk: The first rule of pillow fight club, you don't talk-
Elliot: Yeah, I get it.
Turk: No, I don't think you do. Elliot. Elliot, please don't say anything.