J.D.: [v.o.] But while I went out of my way to connect with these kids, Dr. Cox had a different approach.
Dr. Cox: All right then, you gaggle of mini murderers, I am going to make these evaluations very easy for you. Here are some adjectives that describe my teaching style. "Abusive," "humiliating," "tyrannical" and "buttery." Why "buttery"? Because I don't care what you write. Moving on. It is time for your final practical exam of the quarter. Learning how to draw blood from an actual human being. Sadly, most of you will pass, but there are one or two of you out there who will botch this miserably, proving once and for all that you don't belong here. And oh, my God. It's like it's Christmas eve, and one of you is just a big box of failure waiting to be unwrapped. I want to open you. I want to open you so bad, but no, I'm gonna wait, because the waiting makes it so much sweeter. I'll see you tomorrow.

J.D.: Dr. Kelso, why are you here?
Dr. Kelso: This is my sex pad.
Turk: And what have you done with Barry Friedman?
Dr. Kelso: He dropped out of med school two weeks after it started. I've been using his dorm room as my love nest. I can't get with a gal In the same bed I shared with Enid. Gives me the softies.
J.D.: Wow, that's disgusting.
Turk: Ugh. Threw up in my mouth a little.

Lucy: Cole, will you please be my blood buddy for Dr. Cox's exam?
Cole: Mm, sorry, baby, no can do. Doc says I got tiny baby veins. Something to do with my mom's eating blowfish in the third tri-mo.