J.D. Quote #1839
Quote from J.D. in Our Mysteries
J.D.: So who gave Dr. Dorian a negative review? Many of you had motives. Mary, there was the unfortunate incident where I called you "Mark" for the first part of the quarter. But now I'm a major supporter of your softball team, so we worked that out. Jeremy, of course I suspected you. You take a little too long to laugh at my jokes. But I forgot to account for your interpreter. I apologize for not giving you a proper hearing. [Jeremy smiles] Thank you, Jeremy. Dr. Turk and I are going to keep you in here all day until whomever gave me the negative review steps forward. Who amongst you has the courage to step forward and say, "Hey, I am the coward!"
Dr. Cox: Dear Lord, Newbie. It was me.
J.D.: Perry? [balloons release]
Scrubs Quotes
‘Our Mysteries’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: [v.o.] But while I went out of my way to connect with these kids, Dr. Cox had a different approach.
Dr. Cox: All right then, you gaggle of mini murderers, I am going to make these evaluations very easy for you. Here are some adjectives that describe my teaching style. "Abusive," "humiliating," "tyrannical" and "buttery." Why "buttery"? Because I don't care what you write. Moving on. It is time for your final practical exam of the quarter. Learning how to draw blood from an actual human being. Sadly, most of you will pass, but there are one or two of you out there who will botch this miserably, proving once and for all that you don't belong here. And oh, my God. It's like it's Christmas eve, and one of you is just a big box of failure waiting to be unwrapped. I want to open you. I want to open you so bad, but no, I'm gonna wait, because the waiting makes it so much sweeter. I'll see you tomorrow.
Quote from Dr. Kelso
J.D.: Dr. Kelso, why are you here?
Dr. Kelso: This is my sex pad.
Turk: And what have you done with Barry Friedman?
Dr. Kelso: He dropped out of med school two weeks after it started. I've been using his dorm room as my love nest. I can't get with a gal In the same bed I shared with Enid. Gives me the softies.
J.D.: Wow, that's disgusting.
Turk: Ugh. Threw up in my mouth a little.
Quote from Cole
Lucy: Cole, will you please be my blood buddy for Dr. Cox's exam?
Cole: Mm, sorry, baby, no can do. Doc says I got tiny baby veins. Something to do with my mom's eating blowfish in the third tri-mo.