Dr. Cox Quote #945
Dr. Cox: I heard you were looking for me.
Turk: Yes. I want officially put my name in for the Chief of Surgery.
Dr. Cox: [laughs] That's a good one.
Turk: Laugh all you want but I'm still getting that job. I know we don't always get along personally. But in my defense, it's because you're a huge jackass. I'm the best cutter in this place. And you know it.
Dr. Cox: When you put it that way, you compel me to consult with the decision committee. "Say, Perry? Yes, Perry. Listen, I was wondering. Can Dr. Turk here be the new Chief of Surgery? Well, I haven't hit the bottle yet today, so I'm not that drunk. The answer is no, not in this lifetime." Sorry there. I did everything possible. Strength.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Cuz’ Quotes
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Barista: Folks, I'm sorry but we have to close. Our pastry maker was just admitted to the hospital with a highly contagious intestinal virus.
Dr. Kelso: [finishing his fifth muffin] What the hell. I'm already in it.
[later:]
Dr. Kelso: Hi, I need to check myself in.
Nurse: For what?
Dr. Kelso: [vomits] For that.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: You know what sucks? I have to hire a new Chief or Surgery. And I just can't fathom giving any of you tiny-brained scalpel jockeys a leadership position. Honestly, so far, this is the only candidate who I'm seriously considering. The guy has the opposable thumbs so you automatically know he can handle the job. And, well, I was just thinking if you slap a diaper on him and maybe tape some glasses to his face, sure as shooting he'll look professional enough. Do you know what? I'm gonna call the gentleman.
Quote from Janitor
Todd: So how's married life?
Janitor: You have to make compromises. Like my wife's allergic to raccoons, so I had to throw out my comforter.