TV Quotes

Elliot: Mrs. Powell, when I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that farts were demons that were crawling around in your belly and if I ever let one out, it would give my grandma cancer. So, I know what you're going through. But let me tell you the real issue here. The number one killer in hospitals is infection. And since you just underwent surgery, you're very susceptible. We need to get you out of here, but we can't until you do it so It's up to you.

Turk: Look at that. They have no idea what's ahead of them.
Elliot: You know, I never answered your question earlier about whether you and I would always be doctors. You will. You have this amazing ability to find joy in everything you do.
Turk: Thank you.
Elliot: Whether it's, like, an operation you've done a hundred times, or even teaching.
[flashback:]
Turk: Alright, the trick to this is to get the needle right between the ribs, okay? Watch. Like so. Nice. You wanna get it for me?
[back:]
Elliot: But as for me, I know you think it was a big victory figuring out what was wrong with Robyn. But those moments are kind of like eating a piece of chocolate. I enjoy the satisfaction for about ten seconds and then it's gone. See, the thing that sticks with me is the anguish on a patient's face when I give them crappy news. I hold on to that forever. You're a surgeon, you occasionally get to fix people. I figure out what's wrong with someone and then most of the time I can't do anything about it. I just wish them luck dealing with it or try to keep them alive for a while longer. So you wanna know if I'll always be a doctor? I'd have to say, I don't know. I'm a doctor now, I will be tomorrow. But I can't tell you that if I'm ever lucky enough to get married, to have some kids, to maybe not need the money, I think I'd walk out of here and never look back.

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
Turk: What?
Carla: Yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?