Jordan Quote #180
Dr. Cox: Say, Jack? Don't your think your mom should be just a little embarrassed since she's constantly being outwitted by a 4-year old?
Jack: I hate school!
Dr. Cox: I remember.
Jordan: Can you please not be a jackass in front of the help? [looks at the Janitor]
Quote from Janitor
Lady: Hey. Do you have a second?
Janitor: Oh honey, I would love to but I'm just right in the middle of something. [to Carla and Turk] Anyway, between the weak American dollar and the, uh you know low interest rates, I think you'd be absolute fools not to buy a house right now. And-and-and the subprime mortgage foreclosures have just made it a complete buyer's market. [exits]
Carla: What the hell was that?
Turk: I don't know. But it kinda made sense.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Well, you were right. Lady and I are doomed. Congratulations, Pam.
Jordan: You think my name is Pam? You know what, I don't care. I have my own problems.
Janitor: The worst part is things were really going great between us.
Jordan: Tell me about it. Perry and I finally got to the place where we could have sex facing each other.
Janitor: I finally got so comfortable with her that I was able to be the real me. I even told her I don't want to have kids. I just want to adopt a really short old guy. You know what, if she wants to break up with me, that's fine. I'm just gonna dump her first.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Jordan: Are you trying to annoy me by wearing your wedding ring? Because all you really needed to do was wear that "Who farted?" T-shirt.
Dr. Cox: Now, hun. And when I say hun, I don't mean the short for honey kind, but rather the Attila kind. Despite the fact that wearing our wedding ring may actually annoy you, which don't get me wrong is one of the most stupendous perks in the history of the planet, the truth is I'm wearing it because I want to.
Jordan: So that's it, you're just gonna ignore me?
Dr. Cox: As much as I'll ignore the opening of Hugh Jackman's next cinematic excretion. Jordan, come one. Bottom line, I'm not telling anyone we're married, this isn't for other people, it's It's for me, which begs the question, why on earth would you care?
Quote from My Life in Four Cameras
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry. Would you please repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird. I asked him the same thing last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage, the anger, the hate?
Jordan: Again, last night.
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: [gasps] Okay, now it's getting spooky.
Quote from My Last Day
J.D.: Oh, Ms. Sullivan, thank you for helping us with Mr. Bober.
Jordan: Oh, don't mention it. And even though I wasn't invited to your little party, I brought presents for everyone.
Dr. Cox: Brace yourself there, Newbie.
Jordan: Carla, my ex-husband is in love with you. It's true. Ask your boyfriend. He knows. He and Perry talk about it all the time. I don't know why you haven't mentioned this to her. Perhaps you're afraid of something. Huh. And, Bob, when are you gonna tell Perry that that promotion you're making him jump through hoops for was filled months ago? It just seems wrong. Which brings us to Twinkie. If you don't have the courage to tell your "colleague" Dr. Dorian that you're still crazy about him, I'm gonna do it for you, 'cause that's what friends do. Yeah. And finally, Perry, you are not gonna believe what happened the first time I met your little protege here.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, please, God, no.
Jordan: I slept with him, and it was good. Oh, how's that for stirring things up? Have a great summer, everyone. Bye.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yup. One big happy family.
Quote from My Last Day
Elliot: He doesn't have insurance, so if you could talk to the other members of board today at the meeting, J.D. thought maybe-
Jordan: J.D. thought? First he dumps that patient on you, and now he wants you to ask me a favor? Honey, if you don't start saying no to him soon, you're gonna wind up on the losing end of a little game I like to call Hide The Pickle.
Elliot: Oh, J.D. and I are just colleagues.
Jordan: Oh, my God. I was just joking, but you actually slept with him, didn't you?
Elliot: [scoffs] A little.
Jordan: Look, I don't know where your mother was when she should have been telling you these things, but you cannot have sex with someone you care about. Sex is for making babies and revenge.