Dr. Kelso Quote #436
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Comedy Show
Dr. Kelso: Donny, muffin, please? [catches muffin] Not bran. [catches another] Better. What do you want?
Janitor: I'm getting ready to torture nurse chest whiskers. But it's her word against mine, so I need you to verify yesterday's incident.
Dr. Kelso: What incident? I wasn't even here yesterday.
Janitor: You were there.
Dr. Kelso: Excuse me. [into his muffin] What? Shh. [whispers] He's standing right here.
Janitor: [whispers] Me?
Dr. Kelso: [normal voice] Okay, I'll tell him. My muffin thinks you're crazy, and she wants you to go.
Janitor: [normal voice] You tell your muffin that I think she's crazy. Maybe she should go.
Dr. Kelso: No.
Janitor: What is happening to me? [exits]
Carla: [to Dr. Kelso] Nice job.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Comedy Show’ Quotes
Quote from Elliot
Denise: Okay, Mr. Rego, I know you've been complaining about the bedpans being too cold, so I used an incubator in pediatrics to warm this bad boy up for you. Enjoy.
Elliot: You know, I used to use an incubator to keep my lunch warm till some whiny new mom complained that her preemie smelled like a ham sandwich. Weird thing was, I had a tuna melt in there, not ham. Most newborns smell amazing. An unlucky few are ham babies.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Okay, try and believe in us, guys. This thing has not been funny for eight years, when we were interns.
[flashback to Turk dancing, dressed like Laverne:][
Turk: [falsetto singing] I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. One, two, three, Jesus!
Nurse Roberts: I sure do love me some, Jesus.
Carla: I know, Laverne.
J.D.: You rang?
Turk: The messiah, ladies and gentlemen! The messiah.
J.D.: Shalom and nanu nanu, my friends.
Nurse Roberts: Oh, hell, no!
J.D.: Ruh-roh. [Nurse Roberts tackles J.D.]
Turk: There will be a 20-minute intermission.
[present:]
J.D.: I never saw her coming. She was killed in a car accident. I miss her. Anyway, let's be funny... for her.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Everything okay?
Janitor: I'm great. I just don't know what's real anymore. But that's okay, right? I mean, so what if big chunks of my life were just figments of my imagination? So I never went to China and had a baby with a local. Maybe I was never in The Fugitive.
Carla: Listen, this place can make anyone crazy. Once, after a double shift, I swore I went home and crawled into bed with Turk. Next day, I woke up in the on call room spooning Dr. Beardface. Now the guy's always slipping me hotel keys.
Janitor: [laughs] Can't believe you're being so nice to me when I almost punished you for something that never even happened. Please accept my apologies.
Carla: That was easier than I thought. No, beardface.