Turk Quote #584
Quote from Turk in My Comedy Show
Turk: Meghan, you're playing Carla. That's my wife. Please show some respect. Kathy, you're playing Elliot, So I want to see some bug eyes, all right? And? Perfect. Plus find some cardboard. Stick it down the back of your pants, right? Make that ass flat, girl. Let me see what you got right now. Yeah, we can go flatter.
J.D.: We can go flatter.
Turk: We can go flatter!
J.D.: You know what? I've chewed on that thing, and it's flatter than day-old beer, I gotta tell ya. You know what? I made a funny. Turk, rewrite.
Turk: I am already on it.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Comedy Show’ Quotes
Quote from Elliot
Denise: Okay, Mr. Rego, I know you've been complaining about the bedpans being too cold, so I used an incubator in pediatrics to warm this bad boy up for you. Enjoy.
Elliot: You know, I used to use an incubator to keep my lunch warm till some whiny new mom complained that her preemie smelled like a ham sandwich. Weird thing was, I had a tuna melt in there, not ham. Most newborns smell amazing. An unlucky few are ham babies.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Okay, try and believe in us, guys. This thing has not been funny for eight years, when we were interns.
[flashback to Turk dancing, dressed like Laverne:][
Turk: [falsetto singing] I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. One, two, three, Jesus!
Nurse Roberts: I sure do love me some, Jesus.
Carla: I know, Laverne.
J.D.: You rang?
Turk: The messiah, ladies and gentlemen! The messiah.
J.D.: Shalom and nanu nanu, my friends.
Nurse Roberts: Oh, hell, no!
J.D.: Ruh-roh. [Nurse Roberts tackles J.D.]
Turk: There will be a 20-minute intermission.
[present:]
J.D.: I never saw her coming. She was killed in a car accident. I miss her. Anyway, let's be funny... for her.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Everything okay?
Janitor: I'm great. I just don't know what's real anymore. But that's okay, right? I mean, so what if big chunks of my life were just figments of my imagination? So I never went to China and had a baby with a local. Maybe I was never in The Fugitive.
Carla: Listen, this place can make anyone crazy. Once, after a double shift, I swore I went home and crawled into bed with Turk. Next day, I woke up in the on call room spooning Dr. Beardface. Now the guy's always slipping me hotel keys.
Janitor: [laughs] Can't believe you're being so nice to me when I almost punished you for something that never even happened. Please accept my apologies.
Carla: That was easier than I thought. No, beardface.