Janitor Quote #446

Quote from Janitor in My Cookie Pants

Turk: Okay, as you can see, we've repaired the perforation. Now all that's left to do is sew up the surrounding muscle tissue. Are there any questions?
Janitor: I don't think you're doing this right.
Turk: Get outta here.
Janitor: All right. Let me just touch his heart.
Turk: Hey!


 ‘My Cookie Pants’ Quotes

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: [on the phone] Carla, why won't you pick up? I need to talk! I cannot believe that you leave the country the week I get back together with J.D. I feel like that's not a coincidence. Wait. I did not mean that. I know that your aunt did not fall out of that balloon on purpose. Anyway, I promised J.D. this crazy sex night, and now I'm totally losing it. I've been trying on lingerie, but nothing fits, because I ate an entire batch of cookie dough with a spatula. Plus, at my last appointment I got in a fight with my waxer, and now there is a rash on my bajingo that looks like a thousand tiny spider bites. Damn it, Carla! I need tonight to be special, and you're not there for me. And I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna say that- That you've always come through and that sometimes I'm selfish, but even if that's true, I don't need to hear your attitude right now, because I am sick of it. Do you hear me? Sick of it! I love you. Call me.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Cookies are done. I baked a dozen for you and a dozen for me. Now I like to eat one and a half cookies every day, so that a dozen cookies last eight days. Well, ten days because I don't eat sugar on Wednesdays, and on Sundays I call my mom and she asks what's wrong with my phone because I sound fat. Anyway, I'm gonna go change. I brought my cookie pants.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Say, I heard you and Barbie were back together again. How's that going?
J.D.: [v.o.] He doesn't care. Don't answer.
Dr. Cox: Is there less drama this time?
J.D.: [v.o.] Hold firm.
Dr. Cox: Does it feel different?
J.D.: [v.o.] Give him nothing.
Dr. Cox: Look at you, not getting sucked in. Maybe you are a little bit older and a little bit wiser, enough for this whole thing to work out with Barbie this time.
J.D.: I really think I am.
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God. How do you not get that I will never, ever care about your pasty white love life? I only brought it up because I noticed that Barbie wasn't here at work today, and I was hoping that your relationship with her had already gone so far south that you'd killed her and buried her deep in a wooded area and that soon you would be carted off for the aforementioned crime of pasty white passion.