Turk Quote #575

Quote from Turk in My ABC's

Elliot: Turk, I'm so mad at you.
Turk: Yeah, I know. Carla dragged me to the on-call room, stripped butt naked, did a little belly dance, and then said "This is for Elliot". Then took a nap! What the hell did I did to you?
Elliot: You're a sexist.
Turk: Keep moving, Rhonda. You ain't moving fast enough, Rhonda.
Elliot: Admit it. Katie never had a chance with you because she's a girl.
Turk: That's ridiculous.
Elliot: Really? Besides me, can you even name one other girl that you're friends with?
Turk: Carla, and a lovely woman by the name of Margaret.
Elliot: Carla is your wife, and Margaret's your mother!
Turk: Elliott, don't talk about my momma! Alright, I will punch you in the head!

Rate

‘My ABC's’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

Dr. Cox: Look, you and I are alike in a lot of ways.
Janitor: We both harbor an internal struggle between the desire to do good, and the urge to become a master criminal.
Dr. Cox: We don't.
Janitor: We do.
Dr. Cox: You hate people, and I hate people. What nobody gets is that we never hate indiscriminately.
Janitor: That is so true. I only hate those that have wronged me. Like if they stole my stuff, or put a penny in a door. Or... that guy. See this look he shot us, like he's so much better than we are.
Dr. Cox: Plus, he's only 25, and earlier I heard him use the phrase "Back in the day".
Janitor: Well, he's dug his own grave, hasn't he? Let's do this.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Katie. You don't have to do that.
Katie: I know. It's disgusting.
Elliot: You're just under so much pressure, I've been there.
Katie: Really?
Elliot: Oh, my God, my first week here, I totally screwed my best friend, J.D., just to look good in rounds. Well, not literally screwed. I mean, yes, later, we did it. But that was for totally different reasons. And honestly, it's been talked to death. But we are dating again. Don't tell anyone.
Katie: Got it.

Quote from Denise

J.D.: All right, Denise. I'm going to kick your butt with scut work for a while. Still, I really want you to be yourself around me.
Denise: Do you really mean that, sir?
J.D.: [v.o.] Sir! Loving this girl's energy.
J.D.: I mean every word, young miss.
Denise: Well, buddy. You have no idea how psyched I am to hear that. I mean, I spent four years in med school talking like this so I wouldn't dare threaten all the male teachers who pee their pants every time they're even near a strong woman. Seriously, I am so happy to be done with all that, I could drop a deuce right here.
J.D.: Oh, well, don't do that here, Denise. Cause this is a hospital.
J.D.: [v.o.] What in god's name just happened?
Denise: By the way, how can you stand these scrubs? Mine are so far up my butt right now, I can taste them in my throat.
J.D.: You don't have to be yourself all the time, just some of the time.

Turk Quotes

Quote from My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from My Life in Four Cameras

Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
Turk: What?
Carla: Yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?

Quote from My Fault

Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
Carla: Turk!
Turk: What? While you're at it, why don't you put a string in the back of him, so when you pull it he sings "Mammy"!
Baker: Forget it.
Turk: Where are you going? To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes? I'mma call Jesse! And we gonna march on your ass! [licks frosting] Mm.