J.D.: Elliot, can I get your advice on something my burn patient really wants to go to his high school graduation this weekend.
Elliot: Why? Mine was awful. I was the valedictorian, but instead of bringing my speech, I grabbed my mom's love letter to her pool boy. Well, I was so nervous, I ended up reading that one anyways. Apparently, I spoke a lot about "my fondness for throbbing members". Still, my closing words to my graduating class were actually kind of appropriate. Something about wanting to make sure I chased all of my dreams, before I was all old and dried up down there.

Elliot: So you guys doing something special for your anniversary night?
Turk: You know what would be great?
Carla: Here we go.
Turk: Brinner.
Elliot: What-er?
Carla: Breakfast for dinner. He's obsessed with it.
Turk: I just don't see what's wrong with having a nice glass of wine with a pancake.

Elliot: Look, you already put yourself out there, let's just follow through. I checked his infection, it's not that bad. We just need an ambulance and some other volunteers, we can still pull this off. Janitor, will you help?
Janitor: Uh, no, I can't. Now that I've cured Lady of her fear of the unknown, I'm working on her irrational fear of losing loved ones. I arranged for a couple of friends of mine to kidnap her parents.