Elliot: I've got a secret.
Dr. Kelso: What has two thumbs, a funny voice, and still doesn't give a crap? [goofy voice] Bob Kelso! I added the funny voice to keep it fresh.

Nurse: Happy birthday, Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, thank you.
Elliot: Oh, my God, is that a smile?
Dr. Kelso: Well, it's like the last year, when the safety brake failed on Enid's wheelchair, and she started rolling toward our pool, I told myself: "Bob, it's already too late to stop it so you might as well sit back and enjoy it."

Ted: The Winstons aren't ready to litigate yet, but they're still angry. You need to mitigate the situation because they have a really good lawyer.
Dr. Cox: Honestly, Ted, I'm just surprised you know the difference between litigate and mitigate.
Ted: Their lawyer taught me. I'm telling you, the guy's really good.