Turk Quote #517
Quote from Turk in My Conventional Wisdom
Turk: How you doing?
J.D.: Not too bad, considering I just had a bomb dropped on me.
Turk: No no, that was bigger than a bomb. More like an asteroid about to hit the planet. You know, people running in the streets screaming, "Oh, my God, it's coming right at us!" And then dudes turning to hot chicks and they're all like, "Look, we're about to die, so can I hit that?" and then girl's like "Hell, to the no!" but then she realizes, "Oh, my God, I'm about to die, so you know what, yeah, you can hit this, but no kissing."
J.D.: That's exactly what it's like!
Scrubs Quotes
‘My Conventional Wisdom’ Quotes
Quote from Janitor
Dr. Kelso: A SPECT camera, eh? My hospital, Sacred Heart, needs one of those.
Salesman: It's funny you should say that. I was just on the phone with your chief of medicine ten minutes ago.
[meanwhile:]
Janitor: Hmm, fax this to someone. [answers phone] Chief o' medicine.
Dr. Kelso: I'm the Chief of Medicine, Bob Kelso. Who the hell is this?
Janitor: Uh, I'm you. I'm talking to you from a future phone. By the way, sell all your gasoline stocks, everything now runs on potatoes!
Dr. Kelso: I don't know who the hell this is, but when I find out I am going to put my loafer so far up your ass you're gonna have tassles hanging out of your nose. Now, tell me who you are.
Janitor: What's your name again?
Ted: Teddy Buckland.
Dr. Kelso: Ted?!
Quote from J.D.
Turk: [sings] On our way to Phoenix, yeah!
[As the car drives away, the camera is static:]
J.D.: Hey, you know how in the movies when a car gets farther and farther away, you can still hear people talking like they're right in front of the camera?
Turk: Yeah, that drives me crazy.
J.D.: Hey, I brought snacks for the trip. Pringle? Oh, um, turn left here to go on the freeway.
Turk: No, not yet. I gotta stop and go pee.
J.D.: Already? I told you to go before we left.
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Uh, hey, everyone! I've been looking for a new role playing game, ever since my Lord of the Rings club booted me for using an actual war hammer. So, would anybody mind, if I pretended to be the Chief of Medicine while Kelso is out of town? [murmurs of agreement]
Dr. Cox: Oh, Janitor you're a natural!
[The Janitor is suddenly wearing a lab coat and stethoscope]
Janitor: Fantastic! Let's make cancer feel foolish.