Janitor Quote #361
Quote from Janitor in Their Story
Ted: Carla, can you pull a file for me?
Carla: Sorry, I need another five hours to put this box of needles away.
Ted: I don't get it.
Dr. Kelso: It's a slowdown, Ted. The nurses think they're being clever. Still treating patients, but with everything else moving more slowly. And why are you standing here doing nothing?
Janitor: I know this is a slowdown, but I can't really work any slower than I normally do, so I pretty much have to come to a complete stop. Now, if you're asking why I'm standing here, specifically, it's because I replaced that light bulb with a tanning bulb. I'm tired of being the only white guy at my mosque.
Scrubs Quotes
‘Their Story’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Dr. Kelso: You know what, if the nurses keep going on like this, I'm going to get them their raise, but I'm going to pay for it by firing three of them, the ugly ones. How does that sound?
Ted: [v.o.] Whatever you think is right, sir.
Ted: You're an ass.
Ted: [v.o.] Ted, you idiot. You just said the out-loud thing in your head and the in-your-head thing out loud! Don't make eye-contact, just keep moving!
Quote from J.D.
Todd: J.D., Turk shouldn't mess with Dr. Green. Now, even though you're only his second best friend, for some reason he listens to you.
J.D.: If Turk's mind is set on something, it can't be changed. I can't even imagine how I'd try!
[J.D. looks off into the distance]
Todd: [v.o.] Oh, great. There he goes off into his fantasy world. Now, I'm stuck here waiting until he snaps out of it with some weird comment.
J.D.: We'd have to find a whole lot of gnomes!
Todd: That's helpful.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Sir, they aren't asking for much and the little things can make a big difference. I know I'd be a lot happier with some extra cash, or friends, or hair.
Dr. Kelso: How would your life be any different, if you had hair?
[fantasy: Ted, wearing a bright '70s-style suit, has a full head of hair as two women hang on to him while they walk down the shampoo aisle at a rug store:]
Ted: [kissing] Don't worry baby, you'll get your turn.
Woman: Which conditioner are you going to buy?
Ted: Too many choices!
[In frustration, Ted pushes over the conditioner shelves before noticing an elderly woman in the next aisle]
Ted: Mom? No! Why do I have hair? Why? Why do I have hair? Why?
[reality:]
Ted: I wonder if they'd still do me after I buried mom?