Janitor Quote #359

Quote from Janitor in My Words of Wisdom

Turk: You know what's weird? He doesn't seem like a bad dad. He really loves that kid.
J.D.: It must be hard with the divorce. He barely gets to see his son.
Turk: Would kill me.
Janitor: Maybe being deaf was the biggest connection he and his son had. You know, when I was a kid, I made my dad teach me sign language so I could communicate with my deaf sister. I ended up closer with her more than anyone. Maybe Mr. Frances is afraid of losing that.
J.D.: Is any of that true?
Janitor: Mostly. My dad died before I was born.
J.D.: Wait a minute. I met your dad.
Janitor: You met a man.

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 ‘My Words of Wisdom’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

Turk: How do you know sign language?
Janitor: Well, when I was in high school I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo. And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers for pens, when I noticed Gary the gorilla making the sign for food. I gave him my danish, he gave the sign for "Thank you". Those were the only two signs that Gary knew. Except for boobs. He liked them big and hairy.
Todd: Join the club, player.
Janitor: Get away.
Todd: Okay.
Janitor: So, eventually Gary, I'm sorry to say, died of lung cancer. For that I blame myself because I used to share my smokes with him. But he also piqued my interest in signing, and in his memory I took my first signing class.
J.D.: Is any of that true?
Janitor: Someone would have to read it back to me.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I couldn't help but imagine what my own funeral would be like.
[fantasy:]
Choir: [singing] My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time
Minister: Yeah! And as you know, J.D. only had two requests. And that is that the choir sing the song that would remind us of how much he loved to party and that he could get one last hug from each of you.
[J.D.'s casket is stood vertically and his arms are spread out]
Elliot: You are the only one I've never faked it with.
Keith: It's true.
Dr. Cox: Hell, I love you, Newbie. I should have done this a long time ago. [hugs J.D.]
J.D.: I knew you loved me. I just had to fake my own death to prove it. He loves me everyone. Can I get an Amen?
All: Amen!
J.D.: Whoo, got him good! [Dr. Cox breaks J.D.'s neck] Worth it.
[reality:]
J.D.: And then we'd have my real funeral.
Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
J.D.: No, sir, I'm a dreamer.

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: Okay. What's the problem?
Carla: Laverne was our friend and people are walking around like she never existed. It's not right, you know?
Dr. Cox: Yeah. Tough crap.
Carla: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: You can't tell other people how to feel, you just can't. Some wanna cry, that's fine. Others may choose to laugh and, guess what, that's okay too. Plus, you don't know what's going on inside people's heads. Take, um, take pee-pants here. Now, how do you know he's not thinking about Laverne, right now?
Doug: I am thinking about her. I haven't seen my cellphone since her autopsy. You don't think if I call it-
Dr. Cox: You're done. So, to sum up, tough crap. Hope that helps. [whistles] People, before I disappear for 20 minutes, I wanna make sure all my patients are alive. A simple "Still here" will suffice. Sound off like you've got a pair.
All: Still here.

 Janitor Quotes

Quote from My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from My Mentor

J.D.: How's it goin'?
Janitor: I'm 37 years old and I'm a janitor. How do you think it's going?
J.D.: Now, there is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
Janitor: Really? Thank you, you've turned my life around. I'm going to have to go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living. And that comes straight from our hero, Dr. Whozits, Dr. Nothing. No, seriously, come on. You can come over to my humble house and point out things that are cheap.

Quote from My Drama Queen

Janitor: Doctor.
J.D.: Janitor. What's that smell?
Janitor: I don't know. Although it smells a little bit like the truth. My poor wife slaved over these.
J.D.: She just cut off a pair of scrubs and hemmed the bottom. What's the big deal?
Janitor: What's the big deal? Well, the Lord didn't bless my wife with all ten fingers. She's only got pointer and thumb-pinky.