Turk: How do you know sign language?
Janitor: Well, when I was in high school I was a volunteer janitor at the Hoboken Zoo. And one night I was out plucking peacock feathers for pens, when I noticed Gary the gorilla making the sign for food. I gave him my danish, he gave the sign for "Thank you". Those were the only two signs that Gary knew. Except for boobs. He liked them big and hairy.
Todd: Join the club, player.
Janitor: Get away.
Todd: Okay.
Janitor: So, eventually Gary, I'm sorry to say, died of lung cancer. For that I blame myself because I used to share my smokes with him. But he also piqued my interest in signing, and in his memory I took my first signing class.
J.D.: Is any of that true?
Janitor: Someone would have to read it back to me.

J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I couldn't help but imagine what my own funeral would be like.
[fantasy:]
Choir: [singing] My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time
Minister: Yeah! And as you know, J.D. only had two requests. And that is that the choir sing the song that would remind us of how much he loved to party and that he could get one last hug from each of you.
[J.D.'s casket is stood vertically and his arms are spread out]
Elliot: You are the only one I've never faked it with.
Keith: It's true.
Dr. Cox: Hell, I love you, Newbie. I should have done this a long time ago. [hugs J.D.]
J.D.: I knew you loved me. I just had to fake my own death to prove it. He loves me everyone. Can I get an Amen?
All: Amen!
J.D.: Whoo, got him good! [Dr. Cox breaks J.D.'s neck] Worth it.
[reality:]
J.D.: And then we'd have my real funeral.
Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
J.D.: No, sir, I'm a dreamer.

Dr. Cox: Okay. What's the problem?
Carla: Laverne was our friend and people are walking around like she never existed. It's not right, you know?
Dr. Cox: Yeah. Tough crap.
Carla: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: You can't tell other people how to feel, you just can't. Some wanna cry, that's fine. Others may choose to laugh and, guess what, that's okay too. Plus, you don't know what's going on inside people's heads. Take, um, take pee-pants here. Now, how do you know he's not thinking about Laverne, right now?
Doug: I am thinking about her. I haven't seen my cellphone since her autopsy. You don't think if I call it-
Dr. Cox: You're done. So, to sum up, tough crap. Hope that helps. [whistles] People, before I disappear for 20 minutes, I wanna make sure all my patients are alive. A simple "Still here" will suffice. Sound off like you've got a pair.
All: Still here.