Dr. Kelso Quote #340
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My No Good Reason
Elliot: What's he smiling about?
Janitor: Because of the dog thing, Dr. Kelso wants me to tell you that he has informed your office that you are temporarily suspended from practicing at Sacred Heart. Just so you know, I told him he was being ridiculous.
Elliot: And what did he say?
Dr. Kelso: He said: "Careful, Jumpsuit. Who sign your paychecks?" And I said: "I don't know, the chief accountant, Charles Fickenson or Dickenson or something, I can't read the signature. And for the hundredth time this is not a jumpsuit. It's a shirt and a pants. Who wears a belt with the jumpsuit?" And he said...
Dr. Kelso: Random nurse, could you please send out a memo that unauthorized personnel are not allowed in the hospital.
Scrubs Quotes
‘My No Good Reason’ Quotes
Quote from Nurse Roberts
Dr. Cox: That was a coincidence.
Nurse Roberts: What?
Dr. Cox: That knife! It just happened to go into the exact right spot. You do not get a win for dumb luck!
Nurse Roberts: Look, if that's the way you choose to see the world, then so be it. But don't you dare try to take this away from me! I've been coming in here every day for 24 years, watching children die and seeing good people suffer. And if I quit believing that there was a bigger plan behind all this, well, I would just not be able to show up tomorrow, so just stop it!
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry.
Nurse Roberts: It's okay. You'd be surprised how many bad things happen around here for a reason.
Dr. Cox: Well, I wish I could believe that.
Nurse Roberts: It was awful that Jordan had to have prenatal surgery, but how have you two been since then?
Dr. Cox: Better than ever.
Nurse Roberts: Good night.
Quote from Jordan
J.D.: [v.o.] Since Jordan had pre-natal surgery, she'd been on bed rest. Dr. Cox, however, was not.
Dr. Cox: Okay, I made your breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, I'm gonna drop Jack off at daycare on the way to work. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jordan: I need you to go to the video store and get me anything with Viggo something-sen, I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie, and a Polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring because I'm worried it may have snails. Oh, and if you see that neighbor Lena from down the hall I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "Slut" under your breath, but loud enough so she can hear. And don't forget to be home by 6:30, because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make me dinner!
Dr. Cox: But when will I have time to kill myself?
Jordan: That's not my problem!
Quote from Dr. Kelso
J.D.: [v.o.] She didn't help things by bringing up Kelso's dead dog.
Elliot: Oh, come on, you brought Baxter to the hospital, when he was alive.
Dr. Kelso: Did you want to ask me something?
Carla: Can a doctor bring a patient's dog into the hospital for a visit?
Dr. Kelso: I'm going to say the same thing I said to my new gardener when he asked me for Easter off. "No way, Jose." His name's actually Jose. That's why I hired him.